I know I’ve come down on Mr. Carrey often wishing he’d return to his days of In Living Color and Ace Ventura.  Truth of the matter is that he’s still damn funny when he wants to be.

Here he improvs the Stephano character during a recorded costume test for Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. Many of these lines wound up in the movie.

Generally I don’t feel much sympathy for the female population.  It’s not that I’m a sexist, it’s just hard for me to respect an individual who takes Gossip Girl and Sex and the City seriously.  But even I,  a supreme male (with a little penis and zero confidence) can feel for women at times.  Let me explain.

You go out with friends.  You’re looking pretty.  You’re not incredibly busty but your friend sure as hell is.  In fact every single time you go out she’s flaunting the cans and she’s the one who goes home with the dudes, not you.  See guys don’t have this problem because penises are way more concealed.

Women on the other hand.  Sorry ladies.  It sucks when you’re overshadowed by big bombs but it’s just a part of life.

Here are shining examples of when busts take over the world

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Look I guess I can understand people enjoying Cold Play and being all geeked up for a concert but let’s get real for a second.  There aren’t too many bands in the world that can generate more energy than the sun on a given night.

In fact I think there are only a select few.  So forgive me if I don’t think you should shit yourself when The Jonas Brothers are about to hit the stage.  Put it this way:  I’m not necessarily saying that these five bands are the only guys out there but I will say that you really can’t argue as to why I’ve put them up here.

And man do they know how to open a show.  Here are five absolutely kick ass concert intros from bands that’ll give you goosebumps

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Click on the photo for five impractical sexual fetishes

Everyone’s got their kink. Maybe you like a girl in a gold Princess Leia bikini, maybe you go a little further and make her dress up like that alien singer at Jabba’s palace. But at least you can pull those off with a trip to a costume shop.

No costumes at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Throwdown

Underboobs, bikinis, cleavage oh my – [Usemycomputer]

Floral Lingerie for hopeless romantics – [The Frisky]

You probably shouldn’t play UFC at home – [Totally Crap]

You sexual encounters via timeline – [Regretfulmorning]

The fifteen wackiest runway trends – [Oddee]

Six action figures adults can relate to – [Holytaco]

The personal pics of pornstar Sasha Gray – [Cavemancircus]

25 “What’s wrong with this picture” photos – [Manofest]

For the latest in celebrity “slips” – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

There are two girls and there is one knockout – [Attuworld]

Turns out that “Pants on the Ground” was ripped off – [Othercrap]

Kimbry is the hottie of the month – [Funtasticus]

Fellatio expert critiques celebrity sex tapes – [Asylum]

Oh yeah, get ready for the Jersey Shore porn – [Flisted]

The eye of the chay ber toothed tiger – [Brobible]

Keeley Hazell sexes up Maxim – [Celebrityodor]

One of the most honest Twister commercials ever – [Sublime Blog]

Katy Perry looks pretty hot in Vegas – [Don Chavez]

Click on the photo for more of Arianny Celeste

Arianny Celeste is hands down the hottest girl in MMA. She’s not a fighter or a promoter, she’s a ring girl, and has been for quite some time.  She’s proof that ring girls can do wonderful things in this world.

More wonderful things at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio

I tell you if there’s ever an invention that can be considered highly badass and extremely stupid at the same time, the motorcycle has got to be right up at the top of the list.

I mean think about what these machines represent.  For the most part they give off a rebellious attitude and make people think of speed, crazy times, and leather.  And despite the fact that the rate of getting into an accident upon owning one of these steeds is close to 100%, people still have to be cool.

Hell I’ve ridden one and it’s fun as hell.  I’d never own one, but I definitely enjoy seeing them from time to time.  Here are 10 motorcycles you might not see every day.

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I’m 99% on the cops side here.  This like when annoying skateboard kids are pissing off the public and curse at cops for the sake of cursing off cops.

These jackasses picked a trafficked intersecion to get all geeked up about having a snow ball fight?  Go find a field or something.  Is it that hard?

You have to be all “cool” and try to piss people off?  I have no problems with what the cop did.

I’m not sure how to go about explaining how much I enjoy 5 foot tall women.  Let me rephrase that.  I can’t tell you how much enjoy 5 foot tall women who have ridiculous racks.  I mean are you serious?  Take Nazia S for example here.

She’s 5’0 and 94 lbs.  Honestly guys, I want you to let that sink in for a moment.  That’s less than half of what most of us weigh.  And given the pictures I’m seeing of Nazia I’d say at least a quarter of her weight is being carried in that beloved area below the neck.

Nazia, I just want to say thanks.  And that is all.

More of Nazia after the jump

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Is this a photoshop?  Is it a real animal?  Is it an Ewok or something?  Someone please explain this to me.   My initial guess is that this is the ass of some hairy animal like a Gorilla or Bear or something.  Then it’s gotta be a photoshop.

But what if it’s not?  Is it a Sloth?  That’s my only other logical guess.

Please help me WWF, help me out.