Yes, you read that correctly.  If you are hallucinating as I am then it’s OK.  The world is clearly coming to an end.

Random drugs tests are to be introduced to the World Pie Eating Championships. The internationally-famous culinary annual showdown, which takes place this year at Harry’s Bar in Wigan, Greater Manchester, on Tuesday, December 15. It is billed as “Pie Noon”.

Championships Executive President Tony Callaghan, owner of Harry’s Bar, said: “Gravy has traditionally been the performance-enhancing drug of choice amongst pie eaters at this level, but since we banned it after a series of questionable concoctions were created by contenders, they’ve been trying to find other ways of generating lubricative advantage – and we’re hearing rumours that cough mixture is the new Bisto

There’s something extremely gross about the term “generating lubricative advantage.”  Well that and the fact that competitors are taking their pie eating competitions this seriously.   I suppose I can understand someone doing whatever they had to at the Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest as that at least has a lucrative grand prize.  But come on people!  It’s pies.

Now for my completely out of place yet appropriately placed quote from Stand by Me.  “Lardass!  Lardass!  Lardass!”

[Via Lep]