Put it this way, unless you can find me an event called “Playboy Girls Have Sex For Free for 24 Hours to Any Man Convention” then I’d have to say I can’t think of a better event this year than The National Cougar Convention.

Sponsored by the Society of Single Professionals, American Laser Centers, and other indispensable enablers of the cougar’s prowl, the convention featured appetizers from Trader Vic’s (where else?), a cougar ball, and the coronation of the first Miss Cougar America. (Contestants must be single and at least 40 years of age; the buzz is that conservative pundit Ann Coulter is an early favorite.)

The way America is embracing the Cougar is truly a testament to the goodness of our nation.  Sure if you actually bought a ticket to this thing it might be labeled as a bit desperate and pathetic but I’ll take that label if it lands me some ladies like that I’m about to share.

Cougars and lame dudes after the jump

Getting ready to whore themselves out

Grossest picture ever

That guy?  Really?  Then again, that lady

Lady on the right MUST have won Miss Cougar

I got nothing here

Lots of veins on those hands sweety.  I’d hit it though

Nothing wrong with a little tummy as long as you’re drunk

I actually like that guy.  Asian Cougar?

She certainly did well that night

Scratch that.  SHE did well that night

See?

OK she did the best