Oh and in case Lacey Alexandra isn’t already awesome from that title here’s a bit more:

My name is Lacey Alexandra and I am 19 years old. I was a competitive gymnast for 10 years and also a competitive cheerleader.

Did I forget to mention this girl is 5’1 and 95 lbs?  Well I’m mentioning it right now.   Honestly I’m not sure what else there is to say here other than this is one of the best combos I’ve seen in a long time.

She’s flexible, tiny, a great athlete, and willing to pose nude.  Enough said.

More of Lacey after the jump

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You know what?  I don’t even think I can make fun of this kid.  I feel like he’s just a lost soul.  A child with no direction whose let all the Myspace Toolboxes of the world take hold of him.

And you know something?  I don’t blame the little guy.  You see these girls with silver lipstick, short skirts, and beers in their hand messing around with other dudes with spiked hair, earrings and chains.  So naturally your inclination is to be one of these guys.

It’s a vicious cycle Lombardi.

CBS Atlanta Reports:

No sign marks Miracle Park, a cluster of one-story yellow buildings surrounding a small church that caters to one of society’s most despised demographics: sex offenders.

Since the development opened eight months ago, the minister who runs it has recruited former inmates by distributing brochures in Florida prisons and plugging it in sermons at the lockups. Some 35 sex offenders now live in the complex about three miles from Pahokee, a poor farming community of 6,000 wedged into sugar cane fields of the Everglades.

“Leaving prison or jail soon? … Do you have special requirements concerning where you can and cannot live? You may have just found the answer to your prayers,” reads the pamphlet advertising the privately operated, 24-acre village

Honestly the amount of Catholic Church quotes that should come attached to this article is a number that I definitely can’t count to.  You guys just had to recruit a priest to run all your listings didn’t you.

Yeah I’ll bet miracles do happen Father.

Here’s what the town’s Mayor Had to say:

“There’s just too many in one place,” said Pahokee Mayor Wayne Whitaker. “It’s very, very risky.”

The Mayor’s real response after the jump

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SARASOTA, Florida – A former deputy, fired because of his problems with alcohol, is suing the Sarasota sheriff because he claims the office discriminated against him because of his alcoholism disability.

The nine-page federal suit claims Sgt. Clinton Knowles “had begun to suffer from the effects and condition of alcoholism a recognized disability or handicap” under the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1992 as well as the Florida Civil Rights Act

Knowles stated that said he didn’t remember the incidents and that he had a “propensity to blackout.”

Wait a second here.  If this guy wins this case, this might be the most revolutionary move in the history of employment.  Get wasted, fondle women, get fired for it, call it a disability and get a boatload of cash from your former employer?

Now THAT’s the kind of America I want to live in.

I’m not 100% sure what country this is but man did I come across this amazing prank show that basically does nothing but show hot chicks punking ordinary Joes on the street.  And these aren’t just your ordinary girls.  All of them are completely smoking.

Whether it’s a girl simply bending over to try and open a door or a girl posing as a mechanic, each one of these is pretty damned funny.  Not to mention they involve one of our coveted pieces to Uncoached: ridiculously attractive women.

So enjoy these 10 hot girl pranks

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As most of you know, many Saturdays are prized football game days for NCAA fans and there’s always a ton of trash talk leading up to the Tennessee, Florida games.    And in honor of these games I thought I’d bring back a pretty solid column that’s been lying in the wood works for some time:  Tailgating Nation.

This week we bring you Tennessee.  I mean Florida is an obvious choice but I already covered them some time back.  Besides I think it’s a hell of a lot more fun to pick on the Volunteers.

Here are 7 reasons you should be watching Tennessee Football.

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Click on the photo for more on the masturbation double standard

Masturbation is the most widely used cure for boredom among males. For every woman masturbating right now, there is a guy masturbating while imagining that woman masturbate.

More fantasies at Uncoached’s Facebook Group

The Funbag

Evelyn Kazantzoglous is as hot as they come – [Doubleviking]

Huirley’s stock driven up by Bar Refaeli’s hotness – [The Chive]

Reasons why women can’t be pick up artists – [Asylum]

It’s the superior dog riverdancer! – [G4TV]

The Japanese combover:  these guys will never stop – [OMGBlog]

It’s the 84th Edition of Backshift Babes – [DJ Mick]

A fun collection of lesbian motivational posters – [Cityrag]

Check out the latest amateur guest model – [Bullzeye]

Want to see Lil’ Kim in a bikini? – [Attuworld]

Get a load of bikini model Angela Sommers – [HGOM]

It’s the Tim Tebow T-Bone Me chick – [The World of Isaac]

Luli Fernandez is one WAG you’ll want to keep your eye on – [Gunaxin]

Briana Lloyd has got some serious cans – [Flisted]

For what it’s worth, Kelly Brook is still hot – [Celebrity Odor]

I’d like to introduce you to the redneck ninja – [Gorillamask]

It’s been a while since I’ve seen the lovely Natalie Marie – [Nextround]

The extended version of the Jetsons Theme Song – [Sublime Blog]

Girlfriend scared by fake head in bed – [Break]

Click on the photo to see more hotties like this one

Are any of you guys bored?  Since it’s around 3PM, I assume most of you have a few hours to go at the office no?  Wouldn’t it be awesome to just kill time looking at hot chicks?  Of course it would.  Why wouldn’t it?

More time killing girls at Uncoached’s Facebook Group

The Portfolio

I’ll bet you guys thought I would do some silly pun on genital crabs or something.  Nope.   Here’s a little blurb from Wikipedia

The Christmas Island red Crab is a species of terrestrial crab endemic to Christmas Island in the Indian Ocean. Although restricted to a relatively small area, it is estimated that up to 120 million red crabs may live there, making it the most abundant of the 14 terrestrial crab species on Christmas Island.

In other words, I have zero desire to visit this Island.  Still though, it’s pretty amazing to see that many crabs in one place (other than my pubes, badum ching!).

Check out the pics after the jump

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