I didn’t think it was fair to simply put Marisa Miller into a “She’s Uncoachable” post.  Marisa is better than that.  By no means does that mean the Uncoached gals aren’t incredible.  It’s just that rarely do you see a woman who can stand next to two other what would be considered hot women, and make said women look utterly horrible next her.

Miller is really that special.  I get all the body paint shots.  Yes, I know how amazing she looks in a bikini.  Been there done that.  And yes I’m sure we’ll all thank God the day she actually goes topless and means it.

But for now, I’m amazed that even in a dress Miller can look this seductive and this desirable.

Here are the many dresses of Marisa Miller

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If there’s an increasing trend in movies, real life, social media, whatever you want to call it, it’s the “battle.”  And battling can take a number of forms.  I’ve already covered rap battles but the battles I’m talking about here are dance battles.

And they are more specifically called “dance offs.”  Dance offs are nothing new but their evolution in cinema has impressed me.  So much so that I decided to gather a whole bunch of them for you.

Here’s a fun collection of memorable movie dance offs

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Click on the photo for more of Kat Von D

Most of you are aware of who Kat Von D is.  She is the star of Miami Ink and appears to be extremely dirty.  At least I would hope she is.  Otherwise why the hell get all those tattoos?  This girl would destroy you in the sack.

More destruction at Uncoached’s Facebook Group

The Tips

It’s the build-a-Baldwin workshop – [Cracked]

8 Jobs where infidelity is an inevitability – [Asylum]

Gemma Atkinson is busting out in the Bahamas – [Totally Crap]

Embarrassing moments in white people dancing – [Manofest]

For your fix of ridiculously hot British women – [Nuts]

Naomi Campbell is attacking people again – [Popcrunch]

Katy Perry’s body in a bikini is something else – [NS4W]

Angie is a new hot chick I didn’t know about – [Bullzeye]

Take a ride on the redneck rollercoaster – [The Chive]

Unsolicited advice with Kristen Cavallari – [Nextround]

The top three crooked cops on film – [Cavemancircus]

Danielle Taryn likes posing in front of cars – [Gorillamask]

Julia Henderson in a bikini is delightful – [Attuworld]

Top Gear fake ads are awesome because of hot chicks – [Flabber]

Did you know that Joe Dimaggio was a juicer? – [Don Chavez]

The 75 most memorable cars in Hollywood – [Regretful Morning]

So this is what child leashes are for – [Blog of Hilarity]

Whitney Port tops this week’s bikini poll – [Spike]

Click on the photo for more spring break hotness

It may still be summer time but there’s always a reason to look at spring break chicks.  It just reminds me how old I am and that even if I were to shave every single day I don’t think I could pull off a spring break anymore.  Oh well.

More collegeness at Uncoached’s Facebook Group

The Portfolio

I enjoy getting away.  It’s always fun to stay in a nice hotel where you don’t really have to clean up for yourself.  And for some reason the beds always feel a bit cozier than at home.  Yet at the same time one is always pleased to return to their own beds.

But for whatever reason, some hotels must have this desire to make their guests feel really uncomfortable.  At least that’s my theory.  Otherwise why the hell would you have a hotel room that looks like the one in the picture above?

Check out these 15 wacky hotel rooms after the jump

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Look at the size of Dudley’s father’s head.  As serious as this episode is, it’s sort of funny when you look back on it.  Disturbing but still comical.

And if there’s one conclusion we can really get out of it, it’s this:  I would have totally nailed Dana Plato back then.

Ever look at a certain female and think to yourself “there’s no way she could be that short?”  Well that’s impression I get when I look at Sabrina Jane.  This girl is listed at 5 feet tall and weighs 96 lbs.  I mean are you serious?

On a side note I find it really hard to believe that Kim Kardashian is 5 feet tall and Carmen Electra is only 5’1.  It’s just completely out of whack.  Anyway, let’s get back to Sabrina.

Eh, there’s not much to get back to.  I guess great things come in small packages.

More of Sabrina after the jump

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Here’s the quote that drew me to Hazel

Bet if i rub my hand on the dat cl*t bet dat’ll get you wet and run my tounge down ya neck bet it’ll get you wet.

I mean I tell ya if I were a female that would be all for me.  I mean why bother talking on the phone first?  Why even bother going out on a date?  One look at his picture and I’m gone.

Right out to Japan to get rubbed.    For the record this guy’s real name is Lazaro and he’s a 19-Year-Old father.

What a loser

David Beckham scored for the Los Angeles Galaxy in an exhibition soccer match against Barcelona, then said he’ll ignore abuse from fans who question his commitment to the club

“He insulted my wife,” Beckham said of a fan involved in the second incident, according to Sky. “If you insult my family members I am going to stick up for my wife and family. But if it happens again I wouldn’t even look at him. It is not worth the time and energy.”

“Out of 93,000 people you have 95 or 97 percent who are incredible. Then you have the odd minority but that is life.”

David Beckham then went on to say “besides, I’m 1000 times better looking than 99.9% of the people on this planet.  That dude goes home and has to be ugly.  I can go get laid during halftime.  He sucks and I don’t.”

Actually Beckham didn’t say any of this but he was definitely thinking it.  I know I’d be.