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Aug 26 2009

10 Random Facebook Status Updates That Make me Want to Vomit

Published by at 3:20 am under Editorial

Drunk Facebook

I’ll concede that Facebook is a generally a good thing more than it is a bad thing.  When you really think about it, it’s a great application to connect with old friends, meet business contacts, be part of communities, etc etc.  But with anything that comes with the scale of a Facebook, you know you’re going to run into plenty of lameness.

I mean just look at Myspace.  I have an entire subject dedicated to the tools on there.  And if there’s one thing that pisses me off about social networking, it’s these damned status updates.  Who cares?  Who the hell cares what you’re doing at 3:31 in the afternoon.  Do we really want to know this?

At least put something interesting in.  News.  A good joke.  A fun fact.  Anything.  If not, don’t waste our time, please.

Here are 10 random Facebook Status updates that are completely pointless

Just remember, the people who write these updates are the same people in the photos, which is why it makes no sense that they’d write such useless crap.  You’d think with all the alcohol they’d come up with better stuff.

“Getting Ready for an Exam”

Drunk Facebook

Really?  Are you?  I hope you fail miserably.  How does this in any way help us?  Are people so on Facebook that it’s better than using a phone?

“Reading a book”

Drunk Facebook

Congratulations on reading.  That’s wonderful.  We all care.


Drunk Facebook


“Enjoying a snack”

Drunk Facebook

Really?  What kind?  OMG! I wonder what she’s eating!  Yes, that’s what I’m trying to figure out. What your snack is.

“Woop Woop!  Dats da sound of da police”

Drunk Facebook

Alright sir.

“Is House Sitting until Friday”

Drunk Facebook

Good, can we go and trash your room?

“Wants to know where she can find her Victor”

Drunk Facebook

Yes, you have 1000 friends and I’m sure all of them are interested in finding Victor too.

“Dinner then out with Dana!”

Drunk Facebook

Screw you!

“Is Watching TV”

Drunk Facebook

Jesus at least tell us the program or a quote, something, anything.

“Laundry, errands and work at 3:30″

Drunk Facebook

Daily schedules are always a big winner on Facebook.

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2 responses so far

  • al

    hilarious and, sadly, accurate: “Daily schedules are always a big winner on Facebook.”

  • Beth

    You might be too angry to be on Facebook.



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