Coming straight from Mr. Armani’s Profile

COMMENT ME, ADD ME, PIC COMMENT ME, MESSAGE ME…. IF YOU FOLLOW MONEY YOU FOLLOW A CRIME SOON.

Mood:  Sexii fuk

Gee why wouldn’t anyone want to rush straight to blow this guy?  It’s beyond me.  Really.  The shaved eyebrows and hair like a monk are serious turn ons.

Armantoes!

Stuck in the ’80s Denver correspondent and former co-host Chase Squires had a near butts-out hug experience with ’80s teen queen Deborah Gibson last weekend at Pride Fest Denver.

Out of the Blue!  Now, tell me you just read that and didn’t start singing that song in your head.  “Shake your love!  Just can’t shake your love!”  Man I loved Debbie Gibson’s tunes back in the day.  Yes, I’ll say Debbie Gibson.  Screw this Deborah crap.  She’ll always be that cute broad wearing the Blossom hat.

I’ve gotta say she looks quite good for a 39-Year-Old.  Many of these teen idol types tend to get washed up but Debbie is apparently making a comeback.  So she decided to work those abs and get ready for the spotlight.

I just hope that light winds up being in an abandoned motel somewhere and the next words she hears are coming from a director saying “time for the money shot.”

Just kidding Deborah!  Love you honey

Pictures via

While Spring Break may be a distant memory for me, and any of you 5 years or longer removed from college people, it is always close to my heart.  Any time I see a picture of a young lass in a bikini, or a video of a “lady” shaking her ass on stage it reminds me of the beloved months of March and April when Mexico, Florida, or wherever would be home to drinking binges and amazing “day after” stories.

So as my nostalgia deepens ever year I further myself from Spring Break, it’s important to hold on to those fantasies that will never, ever become reality.  One way to do that?  Watch videos for about 20 minutes.

Fellas, if you’ve got time to kill then I highly recommend perusing these….

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A few weeks ago I brought you five pictures of baseball players that should probably be wiped off the books.  Well, as the fantasy season trolls on and my team continues to fight, I’m always scanning the player profiles for things out of the ordinary.

I just happened to stumble across another 6 profile pictures that were noteworthy of a making fun of session.

Enjoy

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Click on the photo for 6 ways that porn rules

This world is rife with moral decay.  Doubters need only look to the vacant church pews and surging blog readership for confirmation.  That, and the fact that the porn industry utterly dominates all others.  But why?

More porn inducing girls at Uncoached’s Facebook Group

The Funbag

As if Joanna Krupa isn’t hot enough, now a sister? – [Withleather]

A 2-Year-Old Chinese kid is smoking – [Totally Crap]

Lucy Pinder is topless in Loaded – [EJB] (link to NSFW)

The Greatest PG-13 Nude scenes of all time – [Asylum]

Good God, Chaz Bono looks like Jonah Hill now – [Cityrag]

The best of the best of girls holding boobs – [HGOM]

Bar Refaeli kind of got naked for a video – [On205th]

I think that Cheryl Cole might be my favorite girl ever -[Cameltap]

The top ten sexy Wimbledon tennis players – [Attuworld]

Any video featuring Skeletor is cool to me – [Flabber]

Have lunch with Scarlett Johansson – [Don Chavez]

Good God I love hump day hotties – [Funtasticus]

Debbie Gibson looking pretty hot at 39 – [Celebrity Odor]

A funny gallery of white trash weddings – [Holytaco]

“Probe Fingers 1800 American Apparel Workers” – [Tastybooze]

Mastering the art of the hand bra – [Nextround]

The worst best man speech ever? – [Blog of Hilarity]

This is much better than buying her dinnner – [Bullzeye]

The funniest signs of the week – [The Chive]

Jaclyn Smith is still really hot – [Starpulse]

Click on the photo for more hotties in the wild

No matter how many times I try, I just can’t get away from the stranger girls.  There’s nothing more exhilarating than having a chance at a little “thing” with some lass that you don’t even know.  That you’ll never see again.  That you think you’ll do things to they only show in porn.  God I hate fantasy land.

More fantasy land at Uncoached’s Facebook Group

The Portfolio

I happen to enjoy the “only happens in” genre.  You’ve got Vegas which kind of started it all.  But it’s become a movement of sorts.  Articles and pictures have sprouted up all over the internet that depict situations that could “only happen” in a given region.

Something tells me that not all of the pictures are even from that region.  But it’s the stereotyping that make them so funny.  So when you really get down to it there’s only one conclusion here.  Most of us are racist dickheads.

And we’ll laugh every chance we get when we can generalize a group or region.

So let’s continue with Pakistan!

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The desperate plight of a Moray man who, unable to locate a sufficient quantity of minced beef for his evening meal, finally loses the plot and takes vengeance with his frenzied rap.

I think this video is just dumb enough to potentially make it into the viral video of the year awards.

Why?  There’s just too many dorks out there that actually think this is funny.

While sometimes men balk at the prototypical blond bombshell, there are certainly times to embrace it.  And Mandy Ashford is most certainly one of those times.  Her ridiculous body, “enhanced” rack, and lovely smile are welcome in my home any time.  I’ll have to ask if the wife would mind.

All I could really find on her is this: MandelineElizabethAshford@hotmail.com

I wonder if that’s her real email address.   If it is I’m peppering that thing up with love poems.

More of Mandy after the jump

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