Jul 20 2009
The Myspace Toolbox: Johnny P Is Awesome
Yup, for the first time I’m not gonna rag on someone. Sure Johnny P and I may come from different walks of life. But when you wear a shirt like that then that’s what can bring our differences together.
I’d happily have a beer with this here Johnny. Cheers to you bud.
Don’t worry, I’ll be back to making fun of tools tomorrow.
Johnny P - it’s for the ages
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Even More Uncoachable Stuff
- The Myspace Toolbox: Johnny Donovan is Real?
- The Myspace Toolbox: Livin’ in a Cloud of Smoke
- Andrew Friedman Used to Paddle Me and Now He’s the EVP of the Tampa Bay Rays
- The Myspace Toolbox: Tony the Big Dipper
- The Myspace Toolbox: Johnny Armani
Where’s this guy from? WHERE ELSE: NY! Because, each and every one of these douchebags on this list are from NY/NJ!!! Man, I thank God I’m from Hawai’i, I thank God I am 5,000 miles away from NY/NJ and the fucking 9 balls that pollute the hell out of those places.
Damn, at birth, Mother’s must CRINGE when the Doctor says “congratulations, it’s a boy, do you want to put the pooka shell necklace, sideways flatbilled hat (with sticker still on!), retarded designer t-shirt, 6 ounces of american crew hair wax, and 29 squirts of Drakkar Noir Cologne on NOW, or do you want to wait until little Tommy gets home?”
Fathers are proud, and the mothers are brought to tears…thinking “I should have left, I really should have just left this God Awful place after high school for ______ (insert any state, hell, any country really). Because, seriously, women out there all must think “I will never get with a guy like this. Never marry, have sex with, etc, etc…..any of these douchebags, ever in my life.” But, they do. They have no choice! Either get with one of these 9 balls (like 83 percent of guys from NY/NJ are) or be alone for the rest of your life. There aren’t enough guys in NY/NJ from the midwest or west coast to go around!
I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU GIRLS OUT THERE! Just keep coming to Hawai’i for your vacations. I got plenty of Aloha for you! Love when you all come, girls from NY/NJ are LOVED by us…you’re all SOOOO easy. You’re sure things! You go crazy over here, F*ck like maniacs! Now I know why. Now I know why we all thought you were all such WHORES….it’s because of the losers you have back home! The nine balls back home waiting for you. You’re just so happy to be with some real dudes, and so happy to be away from these types!
ALOHA!