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Jul 17 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: I think I Like This Guy Big Joe

Published by at 8:00 am under The Myspace Toolbox

Big Joe

From Big Joe’s Myspace Profile

I’m a 25 yr old predominantly Italian, mutt. No i’m not your typical cookie cutter wannabe guido toolbag. I’m not a fake baked bodybuilder with a mongaloid clone haircut who needs to flex everything to feel important, and i’m certainly not pullin’ in a 6 figure income. I don’t pretend i’m Spanish and say “Ay Mami” or use the word “Sexy” every 10 seconds nor do I use bad pickup lines backed by poor vocabulary.

Other than the heavy metal music and guido faces pasted all over his pictures I can honestly say that I would NEVER hang out with this guy.

Dude you’re a guido.  Sorry.

Big Joe Big Joe Big Joe Big Joe

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One response so far

  • skate23wood

    DING DING DING…WE HAVE A WINNER. Skate23 guessed it right. This douchebag is from NJ! Well, I know, it really isn’t a fair game considering each and every guy on this list is from NY/NJ. Where else could these 9 balls be from? There are just two states, one region on this big, vast planet that produces retards like this. Only one little, tiny corner of the planet that pumps out more tools than the rest of the world combined and multiplied by 1,000,000,000,000..and that little sliver of hell is: NY/NJ. This guy, this guy takes the cake though! Even over all the other losers on this list. Why? Because in addition to the douchebag/nj/poser uniform (MMA/UFC shirt, retarded jeans, some sort of moronic headwear, sunglasses indoors (and they’re always really, really idiotic sunglasses too. noticed that?), and the awkward/extremely gay camera pose/hand gesture)….in addition to all that is he is OBESE! NOT JUST OBESE, BUT MORBIDLY OBESE.

    But, obesity doesn’t stop little Tommy here from sucking down cigarette after cigarette. Obesity doesn’t stop our hero little Joey from drinking ridiculous amounts of pink cocktails and sparkling wine, or from eating gobs and gobs of pizza and junk food. Nope, not our little Tony. He poses with women so out of his league, but he does so with such confidence. I don’t even think he realizes what a complete, fat ass loser he is! Quite sad. But, quite funny too….whadda ya say there, little Tommy?

    Damn, I can’t believe any women still live in NY/NJ. The simple fact that each and ever chick from there hasn’t fled shocks and surprises me. Ahhh, dudes from NY/NJ….THEY NEVER SURPRISE YOU. They are the most predictable, boring, retards in all the world! Three Cheers For Jersey!!!



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