From Reuters

A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said on Wednesday. A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road — only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk. Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhea.

Good God I only wish I A. Had the video and B. could hear a badger speak English.

Can you imagine what this little guy would have said to the cops?  “Guys, get the f*ck out of here and let me be.  I feel like ass and the last thing I need is you tools crowded around me.”  (followed by the diarrhea and…..)  “Didn’t I tell you to get the hell out of here?”

Badgers absolutely rule.

• Police Chase Ends When Drunk Driver is Run Over by His Own Truck
• Arrest of the Day: Man in Wheel Chair Charged with Drunk Driving
• She’s Uncoachable: Ariadne Artiles Might be the Hottest Spaniard out There
• “Give Me What’s in the Register…And a Couple of Big Macs To Go”
• The Freak Gets Arrested for a DUI, Obviously Still into College Chicks

Trackback URI | Comments RSS