Jul 10 2009
I’ve stayed at the Hard Rock in Vegas before. In fact it was for a bachelor party. And I’ll never forget doing the cabana thing by the pool. We were there relatively early for summer so there was actually room outside. However, it was still pretty packed. But while I saw the hotties in the bikinis and the oiled skin, it just didn’t do it for me.
Why? It was too loud and annoying. This was almost 3 years ago and the first time I realized that I was truly getting old. And today I was poking around watching videos of Rehab Pool parties only to get nostalgic. Not so I could relive days of being a Myspace Toolbox (which I never was). But because I used to have energy as a young man.
I’m still young. Don’t get me wrong. But there’s zero desire for me to go out anymore. How sad.
So in honor of this I’ve chosen 5 videos that will show you what I will no longer do in my old age
DJ Tiesto At Rehab
Why I’m Old: I happen to enjoy DJ Tiesto and other trance mixers. And to this day, at 30, I still listen to that kind of music more than any kind on my iPod. I just like the music. I don’t know why, I just do. It pumps me up. But never in my wildest dreams will I never go to one of these rave type things ever again. It’s saddening yes, but kind of reassuring too. I mean come on. I gotta wake up at 6:30 everyday. I can’t be messing with hot chicks in bikinis as a married man. God I’m miserable.
Shelley Seems like Fun
Why I’m old. I will never go to a party where a girl is doing this again. At least not unless one of my buddies is paying her to do so.
Memorial Day Weekend Insanity
Why I’m old. Because I hate myself now. I used to hate myself and have fun. Now I just hate myself.
Cinco De Mayo
Why I’m old: What the hell is Cinco de Mayo? Isn’t that where you take your kids to the park to play?
This Happens Every Sunday in the Summer
Why I’m Old: Sundays are for religious school for you kids. Sundays are for watching football. Sundays don’t involve pools with over 1000 people. Sundays are now me watching videos of 1000s of people at pools.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff