Everyone still thinks I’m huge,” says Hart, 33, whose post-pregnancy body was the subject of cruel Internet attacks after she gave birth to sons Mason, 3, and Braydon, 14 months, with husband, Course of Nature lead singer Mark Wilkerson, 32. “But I’m not anymore!”
Hart understands the confusion. After all, the public has grown accustomed to seeing celebs get back in their skinny jeans mere weeks after giving birth. “There are enormous pressures put on you in Hollywood,” she says.

A couple of things.  Was Melissa Joan Hart ever attractive?  Once.  She was ONE time and it was in Maxim when she was 100% airbrushed and even then she still looked like herself, which isn’t attractive.

Let’s move on to point two.  Is it people like Melissa Joan Hart we’re supposed to be looking up to here?  Shouldn’t the goal be to NOT gain 42 lbs in the first place.?  We give too much merit to those that are already well overweight who lose weight.   Again, don’t get me wrong.  If you lose weight it’s great.  I’m not discounting it in any way….but….

More credit should go to those that stay in shape and not those who don’t have the discipline to keep it off.   Congratulations to Melissa.  Yay for you.  But where has this woman been all this time?  Why is this the cover of People Magazine?

Again, I don’t understand this crap.  You know who should be on the cover of fitness stuff?  People like Lisa Rinna.  People like Jane Fonda.  How to be fit and STAY fit.

Not it’s not like I’m doing a running series on car wash girls.  It’s just that the  great weather is creeping up on us in a big way.  And what better a way to spend a nice sunny Sunday in the spring time (well, actually any day of the week would be nice) watching sexy ladies getting sudsy while your car gets clean?

Oh yeah that’s right, there aren’t nearly enough bikini car wash operations out these days.  Tell you what fellas.  Each person reading this article contribute one dollar to me.  If we come up with enough cash I will promise to put up a down payment on the first “Uncoached” car wash featuring nothing but hotness washing your car.

How is this not one of the top businesses in warm weather states?

More suds after the jump

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We’ve all seen amazing things done by little kids.  In fact all of us at some point have said about our own relatives, “I can’t believe he/she is only five and they knew that.”  Or could DO that.  You get my drift.

But how often do you see kids doing things that you can’t even come remotely close to doing?  That’s why you really have to appreciate child prodigies.  I actually feel bad for them because in general it’s very tough for these kids to assimilate and grow up in a way where they’d be perceived as normal people by their peers.

However, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be appreciated for their gifts.  In fact, they should be awed at, which I think in general they are.

Here are 10 amazing videos of child prodigies

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Click on the photo for more of Ashley Blair

From Busted Coverage:

It took some Fordham grad to email us to say that her name is Ashley Blair and her claim to fame is some stupid crap about being the original Fordham Facebook ’star.’ Or something retarded like that. 

Thanks for clearing that up fellas

More Facebook stars at Uncoached’s Facebook Group

Or you can follow me on Twitter

The Throwdown

Simona Halep has two good reasons you should watch tennis – [COED Magazine]

Six world changing inventions (that didn’t change shit) – [Cracked]

The Web’s worst celebrity impersonators – [Asylum]

Luisa Corna is one hot Italian Singer – [Holytaco]

No wanna Madonna nipple slip? – [Cityrag]

Mr T Sings “Take me out to the ball game” – [Withleather]

Good God does Megan Fox ever not look spectacular? – [NS4W]

Zero to Slut in 60 seconds – [Atom]

Just when you thought you didn’t have innocence to lose – [Collegehumor]

The best safari park video of all time – [Attuworld]

Andy Samberg with yet another knockout video – [Flabber]

Unbelievably hot college girl Rachel from Northeastern – [Barstool Sports]

One of the hottest babysitting situations ever – [The Bachelor Guy]

Man caught whacking it in the cemetery – [Don Chavez]

Check out the 2009 World beard and mustache finals – [Flisted]

The Random hot girl picture dump part 2 – [Gunaxin]

10 Divorce Cakes for women, by women – [DJ Mick]

Stripping game leads to 14 cars being damaged – [Blog of Hilarity]

Click on the photo for more of Jenna

Phoenix’s Jenna will be attending a Playboy tryout on Thursday, June 18 at the Playboy Mansion. She has been “waiting to have the opportunity for a very long time.”

More opportunities at Uncoached’s Facebook Group

The Portfolio

Ever watch a commercial or look at the menu for a fast food place?   Why is it that the real foods NEVER match the pictures?  Well, obviously  it’s advertising and it’s to get us all to go in there and give the food a try.

But for once I would love it if the food matched the picture.  Better yet it’d be awesome for places to advertise “food looks exactly like the pictures.”

In any event here are some samples of ad pictures vs. real pictures of fast foods

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Standing 5’11 and coming from a background consisting of Norway and Brazil….OK let’s just pause right there.  There aren’t too many Monica Hansens in the world, that is for certain.  When you’re that tall and have that great of an ethnic mix you certainly have a recipe for success.

Oh yeah, that and having perfect implants.   Hansen has been seen in countless magazines and you might have even caught her on television on a show called “Battledome.”

Man I could only dream of doing battle in her dome.  Imagine this woman’s legs wrapped around you.  I would happily invite the strangling.

More of Hansen after the jump

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I think this dude might be Corey Haim’s long lost brother.  Let’s just hope he doesn’t turn out the same.  Actually, I think this would be a good cry for help post for Corey Haim to bulk up, start going to clubs, and make kissy faces towards the camera.

Brendan, Cory needs your help man.

Blown Away!

From NJ.com

Danielle Staub throws a “spa party” (read: free Botox injections) for the gals, but she’s left feeling deflated after arch-nemesis Dina Manzo makes a catty, not-so-veiled reference to Staub’s sexual history. Danielle thought she mended fences in last week’s episode, but now, she says, “Apologies are in order.”

We learn that Danielle, and possibly her mug shot, is featured in the now out-of-print “Cop Without a Badge,” the true-life story of a former con turned criminal informant.

So I did a little research here and found out that “Cop without a Badge” is currently the number one searched term on the internet at this moment.

Basically what this means is that above such terms like “cure for AIDS” or “healthy relationships” or even “Paris Hilton Blew a Guy in the Backseat,” that this extremely unattractive woman and possible mugshot photo is what is concerning our internet crowd?

I mean at least it could have been photos of that Jacqueline Laurita chick.  She’s at least hot in an Amy Fisher kind of way.   We are truly in a sad state of affairs here.

Enjoy the attention while it lasts Ms. Staub

I’d would still 100% hit it though