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May 18 2009

10 Women I Would Have Sex with Just to Say I Did

Published by at 3:40 am under Editorial,Oddly Enough

Roseanne

I cannot wait for the amount of comments I’m going to receive from women on this one.  Ladies, relax.  Just relax.    It’s all fun and games, and it’s not like any of these women give a rats ass about me anyway.  So anyway, men.  We’ve all had dreams.  We’ve all wished we’d taken down more women in our lifetimes.

And we’ve all certainly had visions of being able to sleep with the likes of Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan.  I bring these two up simply for the fact that they seem the most bitchy and it would be a hell of a resume edition to say you were all up in one of those.

But me?  I want to be remembered for different women.  Attraction isn’t really a requirement.  These women in my eyes would elicit such a fun response from my group of friends that it would be worth it.

Here are 10 women I would have sex with just to say I did

Susan Boyle

Susan

If only to be the first dude Susan had the pleasure of “being with.”  Someone’s got to do it, and I feel like Ron Jeremy’s done enough for this world.  Granted she’d be the most challenging on this list but I’d be happy to do it.

Chelsea Clinton

Chelsea

If only to always have something over Bill.  Just shaking his hand and having him look into my eyes knowing that I had his daughter.  It would really mean a lot to me.

Sophia Loren

Sophia

I’m pretty sure if Sophia lives into her 90′s, most men in America would still say they’d do it.

Britney Spears Pre Being Hot Again

Spears

I don’t think I wanted to have sex with Britney any less when she looked crappy.  It was still the “just because you could say you did that” thing.  It will always be that way with Britney.

Any Winehouse

Winehouse

Yup, I would.  And it’s really because I know at heart she’s just a good old nice Jewish girl.

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah

Wow, this one would NOT be easy.  But imagine the response you’d get.  I could entertain at least 100 parties with that story.  Man, I’m struggling to think right now.   This one would be REALLY tough.  Damn.

Kirstie Alley – The Overweight One

Kirstie

It’s the eyebrows man.  She would dominate you.  Skinny or fat.  I wouldn’t care.

Rosanne Barr

Roseanne

I don’t know.  It would be kind of “rednecky” and I think I’d like it.  If only she sang the star spangled banner during…

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Just to say I had sex with Dot from Spaceballs.  Plus you’d have to think her voice would be kind of cute, no?

Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson

I had to put that in there.





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