A 52-year-old woman was attacked on her first day as an exotic dancer by a jealous co-worker wielding a stiletto heel, police said. Akron police Lt. Rick Edwards said the woman was assailed Friday night by a co-worker who didn’t think the club needed more dancers. One of the dancers took her stiletto and repeatedly struck the woman in the face as she walked into the basement dressing room, police said.

The woman was treated at a hospital and received seven staples. She has declined to press charges against her assailant. Police say the woman took the job because she needed the extra money. She has refused to talk to police about what happened.

Here are three phrases you probably don’t ever want to utter if you’re a woman:  “I’m from Akron.  I’m 52 years old.  I’m a stripper.”  The last phrase you don’t want to say?  “Another stripper stabbed me seven times in the face with her shoe on my first day.”

Ah yes, the good ‘ol stripper tales.  I wish I could participate in a round table discussion with about 20 strippers all sharing tales from the pole.  Actually wait.

Is that not an awesome idea for a reality show?  “Tales from the Pole.”  It would be a show chronicling the lives of strippers and the crap they have to put up with on a daily basis.

Kind of like that hooker show on HBO but this one would have some “class.”  I think it’d be a winner.  In any event, my heart goes out to the woman whose face is now stapled.

I remember when I was a kid and I tried to do a flip off the high diving board at our local pool.  It was one of the worst belly flops of all time.  Thank God my testicles weren’t fully developed yet or I’d have probably felt it for over a week.

Ever since that day I haven’t tried to dive off of a high diving board.  I love jumping off of them, just not diving.  That’s why you really have to appreciate those that not only have the courage to dive from over 100 ft up in the air, but these guys do flips, pikes, you name it.

That or they wind up completely getting drilled by the water.

Enjoy these five diving videos

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You gotta feel for Chris Paul this past NBA season.  The man isn’t exactly working with the most talented team in the world.  Yet he gets out there and is has definitely proven that he’s a top five player in the league.  The only reason I bring this up is because I sure hope that the city of New Orleans and those Hornets Honeybees can cheer up the little fella.

And given that you are in a city that is conducive to drinking, partying, and taking your shirt off during Mardi Gras (and most other evenings as well) it’s more than likely that even the cheerleaders for the Hornets let it get the best of them.

Also, given that most of these cheerleaders are college girls it makes the chances that much greater that they’ll tie a few on now and then.  I just so happen to have some pictures of them doing just that.

Enjoy

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Click on the photo for more hotties in the wild

Hello team!  I’m still in full recovery mode from a bachelor party filled with sports, women, and lots of puking.  I guess that’s exactly how it should have been.  By the way, Citi Field is an incredible place.  If any of you have a chance to get to Mets game this year I highly recommend it.

For more hotties head to Uncoached’s Facebook Group

Or you can follow me on twitter

The Tips

Wow this is weird.  Celebrity men faces on hot bodies – [Holytaco]

A little small Asian with a big theft ability – [Withleather]

Jessica Clement knows how to scam (and look amazing) – [FHM]

The hottest cleavage commercials of all time – [Manofest]

The 50 Sexiest single models – [Nuts] (link to NSFW)

Ivanka Trump shows off her capped mountains – [Flisted]

The final hottest college girl 2009 matchup – [Collegehumor]

Damn right your dad was the man – [The Bachelor Guy]

Have you ever seen a sneeze in slow motion? – [Attuworld]

I still can’t get over how hot this reporter is – [Flabber]

MILF Monday:  Brooke Burke – [Funtasticus]

Madonna scares a horse with her veiny arms – [Dailyfill]

The Hottest ladies of Cinemax – [Gunaxin]

The top seven types of car guys – [Spike]

Gorgeous model goes for naked ride on billioinaire – [NS4W]

Spotting the next Apollo Creed – [Atom]

100 pictures of Sophie Monk’s ridiculous body – [DJ Mick]

Kim Kardashian works out her ass a lot – [Don Chavez]

Lady Gaga flashes her breastesses – [The Grumpiest]

Click on the photo for more Ludmila

Ludmila is another Brazilian in a long line of hot Brazilian models.  She’s kinky as hell and not afraid at all to express it on camera.  Aside from being every mans fantasy, she’s also acted in several Brazilian shows.   That and she’s Brazilian.

For more models check Uncoached’s Facebook Group

Enjoy the rest of the portfolio

When you gotta go, you gotta go.  But if you know you’re gonna be in there a while, it would be nice to know that the facilities are worthy of your presence.

When you really think about it, how often do you come across bathrooms where you think to yourself “damn this bathroom is nice?”  Seriously it’s not really that much.  That’s why I always appreciate a bathroom I can remember.

It would be just a pleasure to wipe my butt, take a piss, or even just wash my hands in these 15 bathrooms

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It’s one thing to see amazing fight scenes in movies.  It’s another to see something on live television.  Honestly I’m not sure if this video is real or staged but it sure looks real to me.

And if it is real, that dude is one fo the most badass guys I’ve ever seen.  How many dudes did he dismantle there, eight?  I would love to see this guy fight Chuck Norris and then steal Chuck’s jeans.

It’s amazing considering how often you hear of Sweden being the elite place for hot women, that I don’t have more Swedish women up on this site.  Well, thanks to Elita Loftblad I hope that trend shifts more in the Swede direction.

There’s not much about Elita in terms of a bio but I did find this:

Elita Löfblad was born in Chile, but grow up in a small town north of Stockholm Sweden called Vällingby. She starred in a soft-porn movie many years ago, but she became famous in the Nordic Countries in 2005, when she stared in Big Brother Norway/Sweden. Since her work on Big Brother, she has done glamour modeling among other things for Aylar Lie, in her Team-Aylar.

Soft core porn eh?  Sold.

More of Elita after the jump

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I just want to congratulate Karella for having muscles and long greasy hair.  It take a lot of time and effort to get built like that and to style that long wavy beautiful hair like that.

Call me crazy but I spend time working on achieving my goals, bettering my career and having solid relationships with friends and family.

Good luck with that Karella.

Grease ball!