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Apr 28 2009

5 Instances Where Pissing in a Stall is 100% Legal

Published by at 3:20 am under Editorial

Pissing

I’m gonna go ahead and start with the underlying truth that I am a heterosexual male.  Does it mean that I love chewing tobacco and fixing trucks?  No.  Does it mean that I wear pink shirts with the collar up?  No.  So I’m not a super male, but I’m certainly not a meterosexual.  I’m just your normal dude.

The reason I bring this up is that I’m not ashamed to admit that I sometimes piss in a stall even though there are urinals in a bathroom.  Not to mention I don’t have the patience to sit there and wait all the damned time.

Some might take this as me being a little puss.  But you know something?  I just turned 30 and I really don’t care.

Here are five instances when pissing in a stall is totally fine

The Horse Trough Urinal

Pissing

For some reason tons of bars in the South have the horse trough urinal.  Maybe some guys love pissing into giant buckets but I’m not one of them. Hey let’s face it team.  I don’t like to cross streams or have sword fights in the bathroom.  If I have to piss in a giant trough then I’m not gonna be too pleased.  If I spot a stall, I’m taking it.

When you get Stage Fright

Pissing

Sometimes you just can’t go.  Most of us have been there.  Whether a giant monster is standing next to you and you’re intimidated or you just feel too much pressure because someone is standing behind you waiting to go, we’ve all gotten stage fright and no matter how much we have to piss, it just doesn’t come out.  There’s no shame in heading to the urinal if this happens.  It’s better than pissing your pants.

When you Know you’re one of the little guys and a kid will upstage you

Pissing

This happened to me at a Knicks game.  Kid couldn’t have been more than 12 years old and had a much bigger little fella than me.  It shattered every single piece of confidence I had that day.   Bottom line, if I see kids 10 or above in that bathroom, it’s time to head over to the stall.

No Splash Guards

Pissing

Again, this almost sounds like me being a little prissy but come on.   And by the way, I don’t understand the whole manly thing of not caring about pissing next to another guy.  Do I LIKE looking at other penises?  No.  Do I relish the chance that another penis will be in my peripheral vision?  No.  And when there’s the chance his piss will touch me?  No thanks.  It’s stall time.

When You’re Dropping a Deuce

Pissing

Obvious, but it needed to be stated.





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3 responses so far

  • http://growingupafterthex.blogspot.com quint

    you check out kid’s penises at Knicks games… yuck…

  • k3m15a

    add one for when the plumbing at the urinal is blocked up.

  • John Marks

    Boy, you’ve got MAJOR self confidence issues!!!

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