. Uncoached - Five Athletic Contests I Can Beat Kobe Bryant At |

Apr 03 2009

Five Athletic Contests I Can Beat Kobe Bryant At

Published by at 3:20 am under NBA,Sports

Kobe

Not since Michael Jordan has the NBA seen a competitor as fierce as Kobe Bryant.  And something tells me it’s not just on the court that Kobe wants to win.  I’m sure that off the court Kobe is consistently trying to find ways to beat people (insert Colorado trial jokes here).  But seriously, I think it would be awesome hanging out with Bryant.

It would be even more awesome to beat him.  Just knowing that I’d be able to wipe the floor at a few things against Kobe is a very satisfying feeling.  Yes I know, I need to get out more.

But if I were to play Kobe in the following 5 athletic contests, I don’t think he’d have a shot.

H-O-R-S-E Left Handed with No Dunking

Kobe

I of course was a basketball player in my day.  And just like Al Bundy in his sport, I had my moments to shine.  I never scored 4 touchdowns for Polk High but I did manage to score 33 points in under 30 minutes for my Junior Varsity squad.  Oh and I forgot to mention I’m left handed and can’t dunk.  So Kobe, if you never feel like losing in H-O-R-S-E let me know.

Tennis Match

Kobe

I grew up playing tennis.  Played the damned sport from the ages of 5 until 14 and if I hadn’t been such a pansy and quit I might have actually had a career as a player.  It would bring me much joy wiping Kobe off the court.

Darts

Kobe

Pwned

No question I would wax Kobe in a darts contest.  I’m not all that great at darts but there’s no way Kobe could ever beat me.

Beirut Or Beer Pong

Kobe

I’m not implying that I can out drink Kobe Bryant.  Afterall the man is 6 foot 7 and weighs over 220 lbs.  I highly doubt my tolerance would be as good as his.  However, when it comes to tossing those balls in those cups, I don’t care about Kobe’s shooting skills.  No chance he would be able to withstand me in Beirut.  Also, anyone who doesn’t consider Beer Pong to be athletic is 100% wrong.

Real Ping Pong

Kobe

I can’t believe how much fun it would be to watch Kobe be uncoordinated at Ping Pong.  Prediction: In a 21 point game I would take out Kobe 21-5.

There you have it.  Kobe, you ready for the challenge big guy?





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