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Mar 20 2009

A Collection of Shady Vans Ideal for Kidnapping

Published by at 4:20 am under Oddly Enough

Shady Van

Do you never drive around and spot a van that makes you think to yourself “man there’s some messed up stuff going on in that van?”  You just know and you don’t know how you know, but you do.  Maybe it’s the rust.  Maybe it’s the fact that a van is longer than a normal car making it easier to lay down a body flat.

I can’t pinpoint what it is about a van that gives off this vibe, but whatever it is, it’s certainly there.   I don’t want a van.  I’ll never drive a van.  And those that drive vans that look shady should seriously consider a new van.

Here are 10 vans ideal for kidnapping

Thanks to Shady Vans for some of these.

The White, Semi Dirty, Multiple Doored Van

Shady Van

Ideal for shoving two kids in at once.

The Old Sticker Van

Shady Van

Ideal for visual stimulation

The First Student Van

Shady Van

Whatever that hell that is, it’s shady.

The Rusty Van

Shady Van

Ideal for not hiding the fact that you’ll be kidnapping someone at some point

The Blue Shiny Van

Shady Van

Perfect for driving in circles waiting on kids

The Pseudo Uncle Rico Van

Shady Van

Ideal for posing as an ice cream dealer

The Window Shade Van

Shady Van

Ideal for giving kids a view of the street

The Abandoned Motel Van

Shady Van

Ideal for disguise as car that looks broken down even though it’s not.

The Candy Van

Shady Van

Sure I’ll buy candy from them.

The Voting Van

Shady Van

Really?  Voting?

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