Honestly, is there anything more hardcore than a sewing machine tattoo?

Wow.   If you go over the cast of characters in that commercial it’s gotta bring a tear to your eye.  Well it does to mine.  Because that was the NBA of my youth.  The NBA when I was a kid striving to be a better basketball player.

The NBA when I was still white (because I’m not white anymore), had no vertical leap but could drain three’s from anywhere on the court.  And that at least has a role damnet.  Now I’m close to 30 and make fun of people on Myspace for a living.

Still though, these commercials rule.

Honestly I had no clue who Christina Cindrich was before today.  But I’m hoping that she’s featured more as my days draw on. For those of you who care:

She started out as a teenage beauty queen–Miss Pennsylvania Teen USA of 1999–but Christina Cindrich soon matured into a grown-up beauty adult.  She had an uncredited appearance as a drinking gal in American Pie 2, and more of a role in Spider Man 3 as a technician.

OK, she’s not a big star yet, but she’s hot.  And hopefully a few upskirts, a crazy binge and yelling at someone in public will put her into star status.  She reminds me of Rhona Mitra in a weird kind of way.

She’d own you in the sack.  More of Christina after the jump

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Click on the photo for more of Jesse Lane

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to the weekend.  Weekend’s are a very fun time to relax, let out the steam of the work week and just be the people we’d all like to be.  OK well maybe not.  Because if we were who we thought we were we might not consume large quantities of alcohol and do drugs.  I’m sorry, I’m actually on drugs now.

For more reasons to take drugs visit Uncoached’s Facebook Group

The Wash

Another edition of hot chicks you don’t know – [Doubleviking]

When the hell did Camilla Belle get this hot? – [The Sublime Blog]

You might want to flip in the water you moron – [Bustedcoverage]

19-Year-Old blond hottie from Newcastle – [COED Magazine]

A flowchart that describes 90% of all porno movies – [Holy Taco]

This woman wants her car washed NOW – [Totally Crap]

This is an extremely badass spy camera – [Flabber]

Pamela Anderson got herself a golden wedgie – [Attuworld]

Jennifer Love Hewitt doing push ups on Leno – [Drunkenstepfather] (NSFW Ads)

Alesha Dixon could replace the Spice Girls right now – [Celebrity Odor]

The 81 hottest academy award winner cleavage pictures – [Manofest]

Rollerblading is fun, but very painful – [Nuts]

A new PG porn sequel – [Tastybooze]

A Man’s Dream of women’s soccer – [Gunaxin]

Julie Benz wet in the shower, only not naked – [On205th]

Vanessa Veasley can come over anytime – [Flisted]

The one kind of porn you can’t find online – [Collegehumor]

Kim Cloutier is stunning in lingerie – [Funtasticus]

This story stinks….literally – [I Love Bacon]

Click on the photo for more of Audrina in Mexico

I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve seen or heard from Audrina Patridge.  Could it be that this girl has absolutely nothing to offer anyone, ever?  Well she does have those exciting implants that are heard around the world.  But anything else?  Anything?  I guess the boobalas will have to do.

For more boobalas check out Uncoached’s Facebook Group

Enjoy the rest of the portfolio

I know that the magazine US Weekly has a segment called “Celebrities: They’re just like us!”  In fact I stole that line for my athletes like us section.  And while celebrities make poops, vomit, go shopping, even steal like the rest of us, they don’t really drive like the rest of us.  They seem to drive way better than the rest of us.

And why the hell not?  If you’re making $10 Million a film you can probably afford 1/100 of that for a nice vehicle or even a lease.  Must be nice to have a gorgeous car and drive it like once a year.

The rest of the time you are hob nobbing it up with your other celebrity friends.  I couldn’t be more jealous if I tried.

Here are some celebrities and their rides.

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You might want to think again.  Check out Mean Gene.  I’m actually laughing my ass off right now.

It’s quite conceivable that Andrea Myrander is the hottest Polish girl I’ve ever seen.  So let’s get into who Andrea really is.  Well, I have no clue who she is other than the fact that my buddy over at Doubleviking managed to scoop her up from somewhere.

Well, she looks young.  She’s got blond hair.  I’m hoping she barely speaks English and she thinks that the word “stripper” is just slang for “model.”  That or “breaking into porn” is code for “successful in America.”

Other than that, I would imagine we’ll get around to seeing her in some type of Big Brother show.

More of Andrea after the jump

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While using the mix from the song “Hey mambo!” to now say “Hey Marco!” is somewhat amusing, I’m just not sure that the clothes are.  However, I didn’t seem to think that chubby white dudes got away with using hip hop slang, and yet here we are.

So I guess what I’m saying is that the world is full of surprises and perhaps Marcopolo is the next generation of stars.  I guess the only thing to do now is embrace it.  Well that or kill myself.

So I guess now I’m just trying to find a good spot to die in.

Hey Marco!