Ladies and gentlemen I’d like to introduce a new segment to the site called “Uncoached News.”  If I see something in the news and I find it interesting I’ll put it up here.  That is all.  Could be one a day, two, three.  Who knows.  But you’re getting more out of me and I know you love it.

So anyway, the Golden Globes were last night, and while I’m 100% opposed to this kind of crap (a la the Oscars just being this ridiculous excuse for the elite of Hollywood to say how great they are), at least the Golden Globes celebrates television as well.

But when are people going to start mentioning Mickey Rourke’s face?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for the guy winning Best Actor Award for his role in The Wrestler but come on.   The hair, teeth, lips.  I don’t mean to be mean here but he kind of looks like a burn victim.

It’d be one thing if he was actually burned but this is all plastic surgery.  Kind if reminds me of an alligator boot with some extensions.   OK, that’s all.

The NBA has had its fair share of great and appropriate nicknames.  In fact that’s a list unto itself.  However, you’d be surprised at how many funny nicknames there are as well.  I mean when you really think about it some are just outright racist.  Some of them allude to porn.  And some of them are just so random that you have to laugh.

Makes you kind of wonder where the hell someone came up with these things.  Well, I have the answers.

Here are 15 funny nicknames in the history of the NBA

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Click on the photo for more of Kayla

By no means am I saying that Myspace is a good thing.  In fact it’s produced some of the worst tools I will ever come across.  Then again it gives me material for this site.  However, when it comes to Kayla Collins (above), Myspace was a gem.  Playboy discovered her on there and then had her pose naked.  Works for me.

For more discoveries check out Uncoached’s Facebook Group

The Madness

I can never get enough of Catrinel Menghia – [Totally Crap]

Check out the sexiest photos from last week – [Nuts]

You know what time it is, hotties in the wild time – [Doubleviking]

Is the Axe Effect real? – [Asylum]

Dyanna Razin can feed me any day of the week – [Gorillamask]

Samantha Harris is an excuse to see Dancing with the Stars – [On205th]

5 Solid tips to getting her phone number – [The Bachelor Guy]

I’d consider Emily Scott to be a mega female – [Manofest]

Kim Kardashian brings back the ass – [The Grumpiest]

Put your money on the yellow one – [Don Chavez]

Chest a minute with Sarah Shahi – [DJ Mick]

The Sexiest babes of last week just for you – [Flabber]

The elastic girls photo gallery – [Attuworld]

An amazing drive through ATM Fail – [Tastybooze]

Sure I’ll take some more Lara Croft – [Gunaxin]

20 Hilarious Newspaper Clippings – [Gibbs12]

Newest Edition of Dinner Disasters – [Atom]

“I may be broke but I’m not flat busted”

Now that this whole election thing is over, Palin seems to be hanging on by a thread now.  She still gets in the news but it’s because of her daughter’s baby or some other crazy thing she might have done wrong.

But there was a time when all of us guys were thinking “damn she’s hot.”  And don’t get me wrong.  She’s still pretty attractive.  So here’s my question(s).

Pre-Election Results, if you had 20 grand how much you spend to mate with her?

My answer would be 20 cents.

Post Election Results, if you had 20 grand how much would you spend to do it with her?

My answer would be a shiny penny.

Nah I’m kidding, I dig Palin.  It’d be like 100 bucks.

I’m always up for a good blooper video.  I can’t say that I’m a fan of the studio audience crap but I do enjoy the explanations.  Makes you pay attention to the video a bit more.

OK I’m done.

For the record I am by no means saying that Andressa Soares is this incredibly beautiful, hot woman that I’d marry at the drop of a dime.  But do you guys remember how I said that us men get into certain moods at times?  Like sometimes you’re into thin?  Sometimes you’re into 5 guys on one girl?

Well, I gotta say I’ve never seen a woman who makes an entire living off of her ass like Andressa Soares does.  It’s really a mind bender.  Sure she’s appeared in Playboy but I’m telling you guys, it’s ridiculous.

Nine out of ten pictures are of her doing some sort of booty thing.  And if I had two hours to kill?  I’d like that two hours to be plentiful with Soares tush.

More back end after the jump

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I assume this is the benefit of being gay and getting away with nearly anything bodywise with women.  That, having an orange afro and more than likely being on a ton of drugs.

In case you guys haven’t seen or heard about this, Richard Simmons went the distance on Lisa Rinna on a couch to some funny dance music.  I can’t deny that this might be the funniest video I’ve seen all week.

Click on the photo for more of Michelle

Ah yes, the weekend is finally here.  And I’m so excited!  Actually I’m not really in any kind of mood that’s different from my normal mood….which is highly neurotic and all over the place.  But other than that I can tell you I’m looking forward to watching the playoffs.  Yay!

For more neurotic stuff check out Uncoached’s Facebook Group

The Wash

Elle Liberachi is a blond British bombshell – [Coed Magazine]

The girl’s basketball coach who likes things – [Bustedcoverage]

Jason Giambi vs. Donna Martin – [Extramustard]

Will there be a dog wrestling show? – [Holytaco]

The year in sex – [Asylum]

The life of a vagina is quite a title – [Attuworld]

Yay for girls being drunk on the floor! – [Flabber]

Seren Gibson is the international babe of my dreams – [Doubleviking]

You really shouldn’t run from the police – [Totally Crap]

Amanda Bynes is showing off the whole body – [Dirty Rotten] (NSFW Ads)

The hottest jesus freak out there – [HGOM]

Sexy South American Luciana Bianchi  – [DJ Mick]

Brooke Burke is unreal – [On205th]

Did you know the ladies of hooters have Implants? – [Don Chavez]

Lucy Pinder is by far my favorite girl in the world now – [Nuts]

A great commercial from KFC Circa 1969 – [Manofest]

Meet this Gators girl – [Gunaxin]

From Bleacher Report

If you watched Smackdown this Friday night, no doubt you saw the ridiculous storyline featuring a fake car accident in which current WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and his fiance Beth were allegedly involved in.

The angle was that they were involved in some sort of hit and run accident where someone hit them from behind and took off. I’ve read the Internet rumors this week regarding the possibility that this angle (as well as the Jeff Hardy hotel incident) might have been done to bring in former TNA star and WWE veteran, Christian.

I have no issue with using a dramatic storyline to bring back a big-name Superstar. My issue is with the WWE’s persistance of relying on poor gimics in an attempt to try to bring “reality” to their programing.

Well my only real reaction to this isn’t the fact the the WWE used a poor tactic to get viewers.  Vince McMahon sold his soul to the devil a very long time ago.

My whole thing with this is:  Could Jeffy Hardy look any more like a Myspace Toolbox if he tried?  The answer is a definitive “no.”