Nov 10 2008
We’ve all been there.Â Especially those of us who live in New York and have the pleasure of being a part of the beloved MTA.Â At some point in the day many of us have had to use public transportation.
And there’s no worse time than when your train, bus, trolley, or whatever thing you’re on is crowded.Â It’s just a crappy time to be anywhere.Â It’s times like these where you’d really like everyone to just sit still and be quiet.
But inevitably there’s always someone who ruins any chance of that happening.
Here are 5 types of people in public transportation that really get under my skin.
The person who sits on the outside so you won’t sit next to themÂ
OK what the hell is this move?Â This move is amazingly snotty and particularly annoying when it happens on a crowded train or bus.Â I mean is there anything more annoying than having to say “excuse me?” and have them roll their eyes at you?Â I swear to God I’d love to take a pitch fork to those eyes.Â Make room and sit in the friggin’ chair you piece of sh*t.Â Â Â Like that seat is supposed to remain empty the entire time.Â Who the hell do you think you are?
The newspaper reader on a crowded subway
See that’s how you SHOULD read on the subway
Do you REALLY have to read the paper right now?Â We are crowded in here like sheep and you take your damned newspaper and virtually slice my eyelids with this thing?Â You can’t take it out and read it while walking in the street making you susceptible to getting hit by a car like any other normal person does? Put the paper down and please make some room.
The person who can’t stop moving and touches you
I don’t know about you guys but I can’t stand physical contact with people I don’t know.Â It’s bad enough to have to be bundled up with people on a crowded public transportation device.Â What’s worse is some figgit filled creampuff who can stop moving.Â It’s like their whole life is in their bag and they keep bending over to pick things up.Â And they’re completely oblivious to the fact that they’re bumping into every single time they move.Â Just sit tight a%#hole!
The person who brings a smelly sandwich on board
Do you mean to tell me that of all the places you’re going to eat your food you picked a public train to eat your tuna salad with pickles sandwich?Â I mean I can understand chewing gum, maybe even some chips, but there are people that practically bring meals on there.Â And if I get one of these people sitting next to me?Â Well then you might as well blow my brains out.
The person who uses a prop so you won’t sit next to them
See the woman on the left?Â What is that bag doing on that seat? This is along the same lines as the chumpstain who sits in the outside chair in hopes that no one sits next to him/her.Â Â This person will use their bag or even their leg.Â They’ll put some kind of object in the empty seat next to them so that you don’t take that seat.Â You know what?Â F*%K you guys.Â Seriously Just F&*K you.
Cant we just have THIS on the subway?
That I could tolerate.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff