Nov 05 2008
One of the most classic underdog movies of all time was on AMC last night: Rocky. It’s one of those movies that whenever it’s on television I never turn it off. And as I watched it I started to also think about the movie Rocky Balboa (which I’m in the minority in thinking it wasn’t horrible).
And the reason I thought about Rocky Balboa is because of how far removed Sylvester Stallone’s face has gotten from what it once was. It truly makes me sad. Yuu don’t just get that way unless you’ve had considerable work done.
I’m 100% convinced that had he just left it alone he’d be a handsome 62 year old instead of someone starting to disturbingly resemble his own mother, which in this case is a very bad thing. And his body? The veins, the girth. It’s really just botox on steroids at this point.
But where did it all start? Well let’s take a look.
To understand the transformation we gotta go back, way back.
The Early Years: 1970-1980
Stallone was obviously coming into his own with movies like The Lords of Flatbush and Rocky. He began to really see fame and notoriety. It was in these years that he was still young, had a full face, and even had a slight amount of chub on his frame.
The Party at Kitty and Studs – 1970
Porn baby. Porn. Such a sweet face.
The Lords of Flatbush – 1974
The Fonze! Stallone was just a brute Italian in this flick. Bubbly.
Rocky – 1976
It’s amazing how not ripped he is in this flick.
Rocky II – 1979
Stallone slightly began to change his body in Rocky II but if you’ll notice he’s nowhere near as shredded as Rocky III.
Getting Ripped and being a hot 30 to 40 something decade – 1980-1990
Nighthawks – 1981
Stallone trying out the beard!
Rocky III – 1982
OK, where the hell did this come from? Look at how different his body is here as compared to Rocky II and I. Clearly this is when the juice began. Clubber Lang: One of the best movie enemies of all time.
Rocky IV – 1985
Could there be more steroid usage in these movies?
Over The Top – 1987
Ah yes, this marks Stallone turning 40 and moving into that hot 40′s guy period. He starts turning into action hero Stallone. Lincoln Hawk!
Tang and Cash – 1989
He’s even wearing glasses now. Great movie by the way.
The Attractive Older but definitely has some good miles left look – 1990-2000
He hits 50 in this decade and Stallone is a huge action star at this point. These movies below all kicked ass. I didn’t include Judge Dredd. Sorry guys, but he still looked good and didn’t really start the crap phase until after Cop Land.
Cliff Hanger – 1993
Demolition Man – 1993
The Specialist – 1994
Assassins – 1995
Cop Land – 1997
Eh. Stallone has now reached 50 and may I say the downward spiral is set to begin. Just because you let your body go for a role means you’re gonna start getting facelifts and do even more steroids? This marked a major turning point in him trying to turn back the clock. But even in Copland his face is still normal. He just looks older, not deformed.
The “I’m going to Destroy My face to look young” Years: 2000-Present
It’s funny because it wasn’t all that horrible until Rocky Balboa but you can tell that certain things are going on. The veins show more and there’s something weird about his hair. It’s almost too black.
Get Carter – 2000
Kind of a cool movie and he’s actually not that horrible yet. But it’s very evident that the work has started. His face is starting to change.
Driven – 2001
Same as Get Carter notes. And then it’s the five year layoff…..
Rocky Balboa – 2006
This is what a five year layoff will do? Sure it was nice to see him as Rocky again but were you able to watch that last scene? I pretty much couldn’t open my eyes when trying to look at his body. The amount of vein showage was just too much to handle.
Rambo – 2008
Come on John Rambo. It’s time to move on pal. Maybe you can go into business with Mama Stallone. Is that silly putty?
*Granted Stallone is probably in much better shape than me but I just think the guy could have stayed handsome without getting all that stupid work done. It’s too bad.
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