Oct 01 2008
I think I might be one of the few people left in this country who still has an interest in the NBA. Maybe it’s because I played hoops as a kid and still enjoy the hell out of it. Maybe it’s because there will always be a spectacular play we haven’t seen.
Or maybe because in the last few years it’s turned into such a circus that the NBA is now sheer entertainment and I don’t mind it in the least?
In any event, I am looking forward to the season (mainly because I want to see how Greg Oden does). But there are certainly some questions I need answered. I’ll try my best to answer them, but you the readers are always a help….
1. Will Larry Brown start losing on purpose if the Bobcats suck?
No. Because the Bobcats aren’t nearly as pathetic as the Knicks.
2. Which team will Stephon Marbury ruin?
If it isn’t the Knicks it’ll be someone. I’m voting for Cleveland. They just might be dumb enough to stick him with Lebron.
3. How will Portland do with Greg Oden?
50 wins and at least 20 injured opponents. This guy’s a beast.
4. How many annoying complaints will Rasheed Wallace make?
At least a million. That and he’ll end up punching a woman in the stands while smoking pot.
5. How many sold out games will only be half filled for the Knicks?
That was a trick question. Every game is sold out again. And almost every game will only have half attendance.
6. How much more will David Stern start to look like a frog?
Is it possible for him to look any more like a frog than he does now?
7. Will the Lakers do it this year?
Yes. As long as Bynum is healthy.
8. How fun will it be to root for the sixers this year?
You just have to love Elton Brand in a Sixers Jersey. They’re the team I’m rooting for (other than the Knicks, I can’t believe I just admitted that)
9. How much money will be lost in Vegas now that refs have less control of the games?
Over a trillion dollars. I can’t believe there might actually be some fair games in the NBA this year. If there aren’t 30 point blowouts too often I’m going to think something is up.
10. Who will Charles Barkley race next?
Personally I’d rather see him pee on Kenny Smith.
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