Sep 18 2008
10 Baseball Player Quotes That Gave me a Chuckle
Over the years we’ve heard our fair share of stupid comments by all athletes, but I’ve decided to focus on baseball in particular. From the Yogi Berra’s of the world to Jose Canseco, it would seem some of these guys would have been better off keeping their mouths shut.
Here are 10 quotes from baseball that gave me a nice grin.
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
“I wan’all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me.”
Mike Greenwell On his Wife
“I’m a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.”
Carl Everett on the Bible
“The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can’t say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Somebody actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.”
Pitcher Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf.
“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.”—
Tito Fuentes, after getting hit by a pitch.
“They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids.”
Don Sutton on Loyalty
“I am the most loyal player money can buy.”
Jose Canseco on Women
“Every time that I have ever tried to help a woman out, I have been incarcerated.”
Pedro Martinez to the Yankees
“Just tip my cap and call the Yankees my daddy.”
Rickey Henderson on reports that 50 percent of ballplayers use steroids.
“Well, Rickey’s not one of them, so that’s 49 percent right there.”
Almost anything by Yogi Berra
“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”
“Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.”
“I just want to thank everybody who made this day necessary.”
“It’s like deja-vu all over again.”
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I think the difference between Yogi Berra and the rest of these guys is that he was trying to be funny. He has so many memorable lines that I really think he was just trying to get a laugh at of people and didn’t care that it was at his own expense. I could be wrong there, but I really think he was just being clever.
Yeah, Berra was intentionally being funny, he knew how crazy the things he said were.
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
That kind of thing isn’t dumb, it’s clever.
I remember Dennis Oil Can Boyd of the Red Sox making a comment about a game in Cleveland that was cancelled due to fog. “That’s what they get for building a baseball stadium next to the ocean.”