. Here are Five Colleges I’d have Gone To (With my Current Brain) and Why |

Sep 08 2008

Here are Five Colleges I’d have Gone To (With my Current Brain) and Why

Published by at 3:41 am under College

Tempe 12

Proud graduate of ASU, David Freedman

If I could go back and do it all again with the brain I have now, college would have been even that much better….if that’s even possible. I think I kind of knew how easy I had it in school and did in fact act accordingly.

However, clearly, there are a whole lot of things I’d have done differently. Obviously I’d have had sex a hell of a lot more. And second, I probably would have started this website back then and have been a millionaire by now.

But given my current brain, here are 5 schools I’d have gone to and why.

Arizona State University


Well, David Freedman is certainly one reason. But word is Arizona State is one of the easiest schools in the country. So let’s get this straight. One of the easiest schools ever, with some of the hottest girls in the country, and ample opportunity to create a calendar of hot chicks and party all the time. Sign me up. Oh, and I’d be smarter than nearly everyone there.

Florida State University


I could have gone with USC, Florida, Alabama, you name it. To me, FSU represents athletics, school spirit and partying like there’s no tomorrow. With the combination of hotties, pretty easy classes, and packed stadiums at every game, FSU is a no brainer.

Harvard University


Harvard? Why the hell would I mention one of, if not the hardest schools in the country? The simple answer is if you graduate from there you can land most any career you want. But that’s not why I’d go there. I’m not the coolest guy in the world but I know if I went to Harvard I’d definitely be in the top 10 coolest guys categories. And that’s extremely important to me. That and Tatiana Ali used to deal drugs there.

Tulane University


Tulane is where I actually graduated from, and if I have to do it all again, there’s no better place to go to college than New Orleans. Ah yes, that and the Ashley Biden Story. I will be sharing that when the election is over.

Flagler College


You might be wondering what the hell Flagler is? I visited Flagler for one day while I was in school. I beat a mouse to death with a golf club when I was really drunk. So that was a fond memory. If anything, I’d go back to kill more mice. But in all seriousness Flagler could have one of the most gorgeous campuses in the country. Plus Dolphins swim around in the Ocean. St. Augustine is beautiful.

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6 responses so far

  • Puck

    Roll Wave, Roll! Tulane all the way! Great choice, Natty.

    Tulane Class of ’01

  • Jeff

    Flagler?! Are you kidding me?!

    I enjoyed your list until that last choice ruined it. I know the campus may look nice (its only a city block big), but that’s about it. Guys are not allowed in the girls dorm area and vice versa. No sports, no hot girls. St. Augustine has a fort and is full of old people and tourists. You’d be bored to death. If you really like St. Augustine, you would go to Florida (now the nation’s #1 party school), have the best sports in the state, girls just as hot as FSU, and have the ability to drive an hour to St. Augustine Beach.

    I don’t even care that Florida did not make this list, but any other campus is better than Flagler. I mean, unless you like ghost tours and antique shops.

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  • http://edsbs g8rtj

    Have you been to a game at FSU? Packed stadium every game? They’re offering tickets to the local JUCO and discounts on other games because nobody’s going. I know, I know you were distracted by Sterger’s only redeeming qualities. Well, when she was there, rather than Tampa, jumping on the USF bandwagon last year.

  • Enzu

    <3 UAB

  • Are You

    Harvard? Hard? Horseshit. It’s notorious for grade inflation and easy classes.



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