Sep 01 2008
Our First Myspace Toolbox: Armani Alex
A walk down memory lane. This was written in March.
Ladies and Gentlemen. I present to you the Myspace Toolbox. As often as possible (hopefully everyday) I’ll be bringing you a new douche. If you check out Getoffourisland you’ll get a full description of the types of individuals we’ll be dealing with here. And far be it from me to steal Hot Chicks With Douchebags thunder but there are plenty of greasy, multi earringed, mafia wannabe, club going, really gay but won’t admit it type of guys out there. So today we’ll be focusing on Armani Alex. Let’s take a look at a few points from Alex. This tidbit taken from his Myspace Profile:
IT’S YOUR BOY ALEX I THANK GOD EVERYDAY FOR WHAT I HAVE NOW AND WORKED SO HARD FOR I TRULY BELIEVE THAT MY FUTURE WILL BE SOMETHING AMAZING.. I’M INTO SEXY GIRLS,PRODUCING AND LISTENING TO MUSIC,FAST EXPENSIVE CARS,STREET BIKES,SPORTS LIKE SOCCER , BASKETBALL AND BASEBALL[WHICH I CAN PLAY VERY WELL] I LOVE TO COOK.. I LOVE THE BEACH & TANNING [CANCUN,BAHAMAS,MIAMI YOU NAME IT BEEN THERE] I LOVE TO DANCE & DRINK AT THE CLUB ..I DANCE EVERYTHING.. I LISTEN TO HOUSE,TRANCE,RAP AND R&B..I STAY SHOPPING..WELL I’M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND TYPE OUT MY LIFE IF U WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THE KID U KNO WHAT TO DO .
In other words putting up comments on your pictures like “keepin’ it real,” and using phrases like LMAO (which girls use) and “i’LL B The 1st 2 aDmIt i’M SucH aN aLc0h0LiC!” are considered bad ass? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I weep for our future. Rock on Alex! You really will change some lives out there. Keep tanning, keep hanging out with strippers who you think you’re gonna bang but really have no shot at, and keep typing with capital letters. It’s the shit brutha!
Here are some more pictures of this blight on society:
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what kind of homo takes pictures of himself all the time with his lips pursed like a girl?
A lot more than you think Dan. A lot more than you think.
Dont by a playah hatuh!
I just want to stab this kid and disembowel him…but not with a knife, with a soup spoon!! Over and over, to create the most painful scenario possible just so nobody else ever has to see this pictures again!
OK PULLIN THE HATE CARD WONT MAKE U LOOK GOOD DONT BE JEALOUS THAT HE IS BANGIN HOT AND HE CAN GET ANY GIRL HE WANTS AND HE PROB ALREADY GOT UR GIRL HA HA HA
Bet you half these guys are from Jersey. Pieces of shit
His description actually made me embarrassed for him. And he writes shit that is so obviously untrue then claims he isn’t going to type out his whole life? That is a true statement indeed my friend!
The Jerz douchebags are all badasses at an intimidating 5′6″ and 135 lbs. Fuck him and his kind. Get a real job and be a productive member of society, quit being a disease spreading club rat closet fag. Fuck, these guys make me want to pistol whip mental defectives.