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Aug 22 2008

The Most Amount of Stars in the Crappiest Movie? Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Published by at 6:00 am under Movies

Buffy

This is what happens when you work from home. I take little breaks and watch the tube. And in all honesty since I’ve seen most movies about 1000 times, I couldn’t help but to leave on 1992′s Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Yes I know, it’s toolish, but Kristy Swanson was pretty hot in it, and this is way before the WB show debuted. But what surprised me most were the amount of “before they were stars” AND “current” star/recognizable people in the movie.

I mean put it this way, when Ben Affleck is a member of the opposing basketball team and has one line, it’s kind of weird.

Check out who made the cut for this abomination of a movie.

Kristy Swanson

Buffy Characters

Granted I’m not sure how big a star she really is but still. 1992 and she was the star of Buffy. Bigger and better things? Eh, if you count The Program, Big Daddy and a Playboy appearance.

Donald Sutherland

Buffy Characters

What the hell is this guy doing co-starring in Buffy the Vampire Slayer! The money couldn’t have been that good could it? I know many big actors have been in crappy movies but I’m telling you, this list is insane.

Luke Perry

Buffy Characters

Well, maybe this was his biggest movie, unless you count his itty bitty part in The Fifth Element and appearances on Oz. Oh yeah and his gay character on Family Guy. However let’s not forget he was huge in the 90′s.

Rutger Hauer

Buffy Characters

Put it this way. Hauer is in Batman Begins. Hauer was the badass terrorist in Nighthawks. Hauer is a great actor. He may not be A-list but how he got on this cast and had a big role no less, is beyond me. Plus he had a mustache that was covered with white makeup? I don’t get it.

Hilary Swank

Buffy Characters

This is during her Karate Kid IV days. She actually had a big role in this movie. If you pay attention you’ll actually see that she and Sutherland were by far the best actors in it.  I’m not sure that’s saying much though.

Paul Reubens

Buffy Characters

That’s right guys. Pee Wee Herman was in this movie. He played the second lead vampire who was without a left arm for almost the whole movie. Impressive performance.

Stephen Root

Buffy Characters

You guys might not know him by name but you’ve seen him everywhere. Most memorable is his role as Milton in Office Space. He had a small part in Buffy as a guidance counselor.

David Arquette

Buffy Characters

This guy is everywhere. Seriously. Remember him in Airheads as some whacked out punk? Is he a big star? He is now that he’s married to a big star. He played Luke Perry’s best bud before he turned into an immortal blood sucker.

Thomas Jane

Buffy Characters

Yes, Thomas Jane was in this movie. He played some character named Zeph. What is going on here?

Ben Affleck

Buffy Characters

Yes, Ben Affleck. Although he was uncredited, he had one line in this movie and I think it was “here you have it.” Crazy stuff. And yes, I saw it yesterday so it’s confirmed. Plus these are all in IMDB anyway.

Ricki Lake

Buffy Characters

She was uncredited in this movie but was a character named Charlotte.

Notables:

Mark DeCarlo – he hosted that lame show Studs

Randall Batinkoff – in tons of 90′s movies. Most notable. School Ties
Andrew Lowery – played McGivern in School Ties

Sasha Jenson – the guy in Dazed and Confused who said “I did the best that I could while I was stuck in this place”





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3 responses so far

  • Jenni

    Seth Green was also in the movie…well…okay not actually in it, his scenes were cut from the movie, but his picture appeared on the back of the VHS (remember those?) box.
    He was on the show too.
    Crazy, right?
    It’s probably no coincidence that all those big names were in this. Joss Whedon.
    That’s all you need to know.

  • Daniel

    Actually Joss Whedon co wrote the movie but he wanted it to be more like what the tv show became (darker, creepier,…..less camp
    0. in fact i’m not sure that he was even credited for the movie. if he is i’m sure he didnt want to be

  • http://malthusian-solutions.com Tyler Style

    I LOVED this flick! It was awesome six ways from zero!

    I thought they got the camp just right (not too stupid, just funny enough), and the performances (bar Luke Perry) were pretty decent. It was a hilarious vampire spoof! Just as good as “From Dusk Til Dawn”!

    Anyways, how could you not love Peewee’s death scene? Especially with the extra bit after the credits? Bwahahahahahaaa!

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