Oh my God! I did it! I think I’ve finally found it. The ultimate tool. This guy might take the cake…at least until Monday. Cell phone mirror pictures, check. Tons of product in hair, spikes it to look like a jackass, check. Shows off his six pack even though he weighs 16 lbs and has no muscle whatsoever, check.

Spells everything wrong on purpose, check (I lewk bad, sexii status, etc etc). Even has the audacity to wear a fauxhawk (fake mowhawk). You know what the best part of this is? I will not lay this one down.

I’m not going to stop until I get 5 minutes of alone time with this numbskull so I can sew his ass to his face.

You spelled f*ck wrong! How cool!

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