Jul 09 2008

What College Should They Have Gone To?

Published by at 4:00 am under College

USC

I’ve decided to start a new segment on this website entitled “What college should they have gone to?” Every so often I will examine some celebrities/athletes who have been hitting the tabloids a fair amount recently. Obviously none of these people ever got a chance to go to college. But what if they did make that decision? Where would they have gone?

The focus today will be on the following people: Alex Rodriguez, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, and Justin Timberlake

Check out the results after the jump

Alex Rodriguez

A-Rod

Given his athletic prowess but overly homosexual type tendencies with neatness, shirtless appearances in parks, yet sensitive about keeping things quiet with his wife, Alex Rodriguez would easily be a USC guy. While we know A-Rod registered for classes at Miami, I still say USC. At USC, A-Rod could be the quintessential athlete and get to hang out with all of the good looking folk. At the same time he’d get to slap the butts of all the other stud athletes in the locker room. Think Matt Leinart but a lot more gay.

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson

I don’t even think this one’s debatable. Either Arizona State University or Florida State University. It’s a tie. No explanation necessary.

Britney Spears

Britney Spears

Zero question in my mind that Britney Spears would have been a community college girl. Pick any community college in the country and that’s exactly where Britney would have belonged. She definitely would have frequented the local bars and without question would have somehow wound up as a Kindergarten substitute teacher. If she were smart enough, LSU.

Justin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake

I think Timberlake would be an NYU or Emory type of guy. Probably more Emory because the guys there are kind of weak. True story, I bought him a shot once and he went into a back room to take it and almost puked. If he took it like a man I’d have said NYU.  But he’d have fit in well at Emory promoting all the clubs in Buckhead and what not.





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2 responses so far

2 Responses to “What College Should They Have Gone To?”

  1. [...] Colleges certain celebrities should have attended [Uncoached] [...]

  2. seanon 09 Jul 2008 at 11:25 am

    Jessica Simpson probably would’ve wanted to stay in Texas and because she thought buffalo wings come from actual buffalo, she would’ve fit right in with the Aggies and Texas A&M.

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