When I look back on my fraternity life and see some of the things I’ve done, I laugh quite hysterically. Sometimes people cry knowing that they did some of the things they did while pledging.

But in all of this, I realize that it was college, it was fun, and I’m not famous so it’s no big deal if people know this stuff. But then I got to watching the movie The Good Shepard and saw some stuff about The Skull and Bones fraternity.

It dawned on me that at Yale, President Bush was/is a member of Skull and Bones.

So after a bit of research I thought I’d share some of my favorite things that our current President of the United States probably did in his days at Yale (other than Cocaine).

For those unfamiliar with fraternity initiation rituals, the initiation rites of the Skull & Bones society are shocking. Even for those that are familiar, the rituals seem too bizarre to believe, especially in a fraternity for the upper crust of society.

But here we go.

George Bush publicly masturbated in a coffin in view of the other members of the fraternity.

George Bush swore allegiance to Satan while touching a human skull.

George Bush bowed before a man dressed as Satan.

George Bush permitted a man to press a human femur (thigh bone) into his anus.

George Bush publicly confessed the entire catalog of his lifelong sexual fantasies (which included having sex with a young Hilary Clinton)

Oh and there’s no way Bush’s bare ass didn’t get paddled.

*for the record Cheech Marin was a Phi Sig. I just find that funny.