She looks hot to me, and that’s all that I care about.

I’m sure all of you are very interested to know that “The University of Minnesota Duluth women’s hockey team has announced two signings declaring their intent to remain in the championship hunt for the 2008-2009 season.” CSTV Reports that ” The Bulldogs have inked forward Pernilla Winberg and defenseman Jenni Asserholt from Team Sweden.”

Actually I’m not really sure I care at all. What I have realized is how amazing it would be if there were hot women hockey players. Think about it. A female hockey player is a true tough girl. Can you imagine how a collegiate athlete would handle you? Forget the slashing and hooking, I’d really love to get in the penalty box with some of them.

That’s the new game folks. Finding hot NCAA Women’s hockey players. Who is that number 4 girl on Wisconsin? Her name is Mikka Nordby. I’m a big fan (at least from my one or two pictures). Come on WCHA!

Anyone ever hear of Michelle Huziker?

And welcome to Friday’s Funbag! Uncoached is finally bringing you links every day (except for Sunday and that will never happen). Aren’t you proud of me? No. I’m not proud of me. And I’m not gay either.

The Bag

Michelle Huziker is making some noise in the U.S. – [Drunkenstepfather]

Russians doing splits is worthy of my attention – [Bright Black Internet]

Check out these pool shots that were done with Satan’s help – [Asylum]

There’s nothing gay about Lisa Rinna’s purple shirt – [Flatusyahu]

Use Cellphones to make popcorn – [Cameltap]

Leeann Tweeden is yesterday’s cupcake – [Nextround]

Rumor has it Charlize Theron skips showers – [World of Isaac]

Yesterday’s distraction (and a really weird but funny pic) – [Gibbs12]

The 13 Hottest Women Wolverine has slept with – [Bamkapow]

Using breasts as an alternative energy source – [Walletpop]

Celebrity cougar time! – [Unibrow]

No more sexy tuxedo shirts at Wimbledon – [Machochip]

Click on the photo to see Gorilla Mask’s gallery of Jennifer Ellison

It’s pretty much illegal how hot Jennifer Ellison is and being from another land just makes her that much more alluring. If I were to write a “what I’d do to have sex with Jennifer Ellison” article it would take another website and a lifetime to finish. Then again I could seduce her in five minutes if I had the chance. I know I could.

Enjoy the rest of the portfolio

Ever think about that? I mean O.J. Simpson was Nordberg in Naked Gun!! He was the guy in all the Hertz commercials. To this day, ever since that trial, and ever since knowing that the man is a completely sickening person, I find it uncomfortably funny and sad watching these moments.

Sometimes it’s just too strange. Nordberg!

And the guy is still on the streets. Amazing. Simply amazing.

“Around 50 pilots each year in India are being grounded because they had consumed alcohol before taking a flight, the country’s civil aviation authorities said Tuesday.

The Director General of Civil Aviation (DGCA), a body controlling airline operations in India, said dozens of pilots are found to have consumed alcohol during routine pre-medical tests every year.”

This basically leads me to believe that the aviation industry is very much like Major League Baseball. If this is going on in India can you imagine how much we must be hiding in America?

Just like steroids were essentially ignored for the past 20 years in baseball, I’m taking a wild guess that plenty of pilots in the U.S. managed to “slip by” their alcohol tests.

So the next time you see a pilot piss himself and grope your wife before you get on a plane, just make sure you don’t shake his hand before getting on.

Crystal Marie is a Myspace find and an absolute gem. Her ID is no longer valid on there but I managed to get a little tidbit from her old profile.

Wait for the man who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep…Wait for the man who pursues you, who kisses your forhead, who wants to show you off to the world when you’re in sweats, who thinks you’re the prettiest when you have on no makeup, and who wants to hold you everynight…Wait for the man who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.. the one who turns to his friends and says…Thats her.

OK, so if I memorize this, spot her in a bar and spit this out verbatim, does she want to have sex with me right then and there? No, she’ll go for the 8 earring, steroid pumping, fake tan guy who just punched me in the face. Her statement appears to be reality but life doesn’t work that way.

I’m a nice guy Crystal! I will take care of you. I promise, I will. Give us a shot huh? I’m sending you my picture and a grain of sand. It represents the world you and I are going to build together.

Check out Crystal’s Marie after the jump

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Is that a chick on the right?

Alright, I really don’t have much to say about this guy. Shirt off guy, very pale, spiked hair. I get it.

The only thing I can really say is this. Below you will find four pictures of Joey and his boys who claim to “run shyt” in Joey’s Myspace Profile. One of those pictures contains what appears to be a ridiculously hot girl.

Joey, if you are reading this, email me and give me the honest answer to this question. Did you have sex with this girl? If the answer is yes, then I have a gun sitting next to me and I’ll be more than ready to kill myself.

Yesterday the Playboy mansion was host to a fight between Julio Diaz and David Torres (no I don’t know who either of those guys is).

Now this is how things should be everywhere in my opinion: “Walking in, there are four women in bunny costumes waiting to greet you, as well as a group of other girls in black mini dresses. Later, there would be a naked woman, covered only in body paint.”

Attendees in the crowd included Chuck Liddell and Shawn Merrimen. And of course Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt worked as ring girls.

In honor of these women, I’ve decided to put together a small gallery of ring girls for your viewing pleasure.

Enjoy after the jump

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You have to like Joe Morgan now

There’s been plenty of talk about Joe Morgan of late. Cubs fans are pissed at him for criticizing Ernie Banks and it’s not often that you’re honored with your very own Fire Joe Morgan blog. If there’s anything to get Joe into our good graces it has to be this picture does it not?

If you’ve seen this before then excellent. The moment you saw it, no matter how much you disliked the guy you should have given Morgan at least one “good” point instead an “evil”point.

If you haven’t seen this picture then just assume Joe Morgan is the man. My own take on the man? Personally I don’t think his analysis is all that bad, but any time he talks about anything else, and I mean anything else, you know you’re in for some kind of “treat.” Just call the play by play buddy. We don’t need all of that extra crap mixed in. Opinions? Statements? That’s what we have John Kruk for.

Personally I’d love to see Charles Barkley do “Baseball Tonight.” That would be incredible.