May 23 2008
One of the lucky few who didn’t make it
Now this segment is gonna be a winner. There’s just no chance it isn’t. I originated this thing a long time ago in a blog far far away. Now it’s back.
The title is pretty self explanatory and I think it’s safe to say most of these will be coming from the casual encounters section, male or female.
Every so often I shall find a person to make a craiglist post for me. That person will remain anonymous. However, I will share what the ad is and come back to you with the top three responses I’ve received.
Ready? Here we go.
The ad looks like this
Looking for One Man for One Night – w4m – 24 (Downtown)
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
Date: 2008-05-23, 9:28AM EDT
Hey guys! I would really appreciate if there were no people B.S-ing around here. I’m a girl that yes, gets horny from time to time and it’d be nice if you could get a nice guy who felt the same way. Interested in meeting someone this weekend for a great time. Pics are a necessity. The greatest descriptions for this weekend will get you the prize – me! I’ve attached a picture so please send one back. No penis pictures please but if you show your body I won’t mind.
AND THE WINNERS ARE (for the record there were about 7 million penis pictures)#3 – Ayhan Ozyesil
“How about we get familiar? I’ll make your toes curl and have you screaming my name all night long ;).
#2 – Juan Del Valle
His Response – and I had to shorten and censor this one a LOT. Also, I left in the grammatical mistakes for effect
Hey sexy, IM 28, hipanic , str8,5`11, 185lbs,8inchs,brown eyes, black hair,NOT INTO GAMES, i am a down to earth kinda guy who likes to be drama free. I like to have fun an be around positive people. I live in the bronx and I work on wallst. as a stock broker trainee and Im studying hard for my series 7 test. I just had to tell you that you have beautiful face……and smile! I do know that there is much more to you than how you look. but with a face like that………..I just Cant help looking! my name is john and I will say, that even if you write back, or not, I just needed to say that. and dont thank me…. thank your mama…..I had nothin to do with that beautiful smile of yours. someone will be very lucky to HAVE YOU in there life……I really dont have time for a serious relationship rite now. but I have needs to and there are not being met. so if we hook up an if i feel comforble with you sexy………then there wont be a dry moment for you……. . My BIGGEST turn on`s is a thong, high heels, a woman dressing up sexy for me, a woman who gives good oral,role playing, likes it ruff sometimes. I would love to “play” with you for hours. I know I can make you lose you breath. Fast or slow, hard or “soft”, pound or grinde and or even for play how ever you want it i`ll please you. A man who can tie you up(optional) and kissing and firmly coressing you all over …………need I say more? send me some pics and let me know what you think of me coming over tonite, now, or sometime? If not……….Your loss
And the number one Response!
Johnny Natural – Perhaps he needs to put more bold text and capitals in his response- man this guy is a doucheface.
I AM TRULY AVAILABLE THIS AFTERNOON BABE SO WHAT’S REALLY GOOD? SEND ME A PIC TOO PLEASE. HERE’S MY STATS:
I am Puerto Rican, Single, 41, 5’10″, 170, blonde hair, hazel eyes, goatee, short haircut, white skin, slender-medium build. I am into the art of oral foreplay babe. I also come equipped with 8″ in length and wider than the cardboard center of a roll of toilet paper. NO BS AND NO EXAGGERATION EITHER. If you are truly interested, hit me up with a pic and number to call you at. NO AUTO RESPONSE EMAIL!! SERIOUS AND SINCERE RESPONSES ONLY. I am definitely serious about meeting. 646-260-7***. Let’s meet and make things happen. Hope you can handle me, babe!!!! Again, HOW SERIOUS ARE YOU?? Kisses.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff