May 13 2008
Top Ten Campaigning Strategies for Kevin Johnson
Given the recent news that former NBA point Guard Kevin Johnson is running for Mayor in Sacramento, we figure it’d be best to suggest a few strategies for the guy.
He knows how to run the floor, but can KJ run a city? That remains to be seen but here are some things Kevin can do to improve his candidacy:
10. During the debates, after he makes a point/argument simply say “KJ with the assist!”
9. Each time KJ can’t think of an answer to any question say “I’m much better at basketball than you.”
8. Smile because he still looks like he’s 12
7. Hand out fliers that say “Vote for Kevin Johnson, I can get you MJ’s autograph.”
6. Commercial with him and 5 kids playing ball. KJ comes in and swats an attempted lay up followed by the line “if you don’t pick me then your economy will be blocked from being successful” - Ooohhhhhhh!
5. His campaign to the guys: “Fellas, I was in the NBA so I had sex with tons of chicks.”
4. To the ladies: “Ladies, I was in the NBA which means my penis is much bigger than the average male.”
3. Promise to hire Paul Westphal as his assistant Mayor
2. Addendum to number 10 - During the debates, after he makes a point/argument hire Bill Raftery to say “KJ with the assist!”
1. Get a million of these pictures with this slogan.
“I Dunked Over Olajuwon, Any Questions?”
* P.S. a little credit to my buddy Nick for the inspiration of this post
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[…] He knows how to run the floor, but can KJ run a city? That remains to be seen but here are some things Kevin can do to improve his candidacy […]