I just wanted to make you all aware of this fact. Carry on.

I know that I have been an anti hockey guy, and despite the fact that I think it’s kind of boring, hockey still makes for decent story lines. And where better than the American Hockey League (AHL)?

Up in Albany, the River Rats lost to the Philadelphia Phantoms by a score of 3-2. Goalie Michael Leighton made 98 saves for the River Rats.

When asked about the loss, Leighton said “are you f-ing kidding me man? dude, these guys suck, period. Just get me one of the ice mice. Me and the boys are taking turns tonight.”

Who are the Ice Mice you might ask? Find out…

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Yes, that’s what Bill Maher really looks like. Can you believe how stale this guy is? He definitely pays for sex, a lot.

Given that we have abundant resources on the internet, Myspace being one of them, I figured it would be a shame to only reserve them for the amateurs. Through diligent research, I’ve decided to start a new segment called “Famous People Wind up on Myspace.”

And what better a way to start than with the Myspace Profile of adult film star Lexxi Tyler? Famous people love porn.

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Come on Preston, you’re better than that

According to the Seattle Times, “Wide receiver Preston Parker’s future at Florida State is in doubt after he was arrested Tuesday and charged with carrying a concealed weapon and possession of marijuana.”

OK that’s fine and all but did you know how hard a time I had finding pictures on this guy? Little did I know that Preston Parker is a male porn star.

I unfortunately had to sift through naked well endowed pictures of the white Preston Parker, just to get you three lame football shots of the FSU receiver Preston Parker.

I hope you guys know how hard I work on this damned site.

For full coverage on athlete’s being arrested you can always check out “Cuff ‘Em” at my buddy Joe’s Busted Coverage.

Right back at ya bud

In the “about me” section on Special K’s Myspace Profile: “I set trends with every way I feel, these kids order my style like it’s a happy f*cking meal.”

So basically what your saying is that you’re a complete waste of space and the world would be way better without you?

Well, unless we’re in dire need of bronzer I think we can go on safely.

Yes, this was the cute little soccer star with pigtails.

So, you watch your wife give birth and it’s a beautiful baby girl. You take care of this baby girl. You raise her like she’s your own, because she is your own. But said girl reaches puberty and gets a hold of MTV and Myspace.

This, my fellow men out there, is a segment I like to call “This Might be your Daughter Someday.”

No matter what you do, no matter what rules you instill, you are most likely powerless in a situation that can potentially send your cute little angel spiraling into a drunken world of parties and really lame dudes.

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“Now if everyone here will just move in an orderly fashion your penises shall be salvaged.”

According to Reuters, “Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.”

The Police chief of the republic of Kinshasa Jean-Dieudonne Oleko said, “I’m tempted to say it’s one huge joke.”

“But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it?’” he said.

Man, can you imagine having this guy Oleko’s job? I’m amazed this article is real.

Sly Stallone back in his nudy picture days. The true “Italian Stallion.

We’ve all done it. We’ve all been bored sitting on our asses and simply type in searches on Google to see what we can come up with. Sometimes we type our friends names, or random phrases like “douchebag.” The funny thing is that 99% of the terms we type in some way, shape, or form wind up with porn as a result. Amazing.

In any event, I was kind of bored and decided to type in the term “Italian Stallion” to see if anything interesting came up. I did an image search on Flickr and managed to find some post worthy pictures. If you can think of any interesting terms to suggest, feel free to email me at uncoached@gmail.com

Other than the ridiculous amount of filth and porn I came across, enjoy the Italian Stallion Results

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