“Now if everyone here will just move in an orderly fashion your penises shall be salvaged.”

According to Reuters, “Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.”

The Police chief of the republic of Kinshasa Jean-Dieudonne Oleko said, “I’m tempted to say it’s one huge joke.”

“But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it?’” he said.

Man, can you imagine having this guy Oleko’s job? I’m amazed this article is real.