Apr 15 2008
I recently read an article that spoke about the growing popularity of Roller Derby in the UK. It goes on to say “In a game where short skirts and fishnets make up the official team strip it comes as no surprise that these women have a rapidly growing fan base.”
While I think this sentiment is true, there are a few reasons why, although the “sport” is gaining popularity, Roller Derby isn’t what it can be. Yes it’s fun to watch women knock each other around but A. The women aren’t attractive enough and B. There’s no incentive to watch them.
Enter “Celebrity Roller Derby.”
I’ve done my research and have not seen anything even resembling what I’m about to propose. Sure celebrities have appeared at Roller Derbies, but participated in them? No.
Could you even imagine these women replaced by the likes of Rihanna or Jessica Simpson on this squad? The money would cease to stop coming in.
Imagine the girl on the right is Rosie O’Donnell and the speedy girl in the back is Katie Couric. You wouldn’t pay to see this? O’Donnell would have some nickname like “Lieutenant Sweet Tits” and Couric could be “Peter Pan.”
How money would that be if Britney Spears were taking blows like that from Paris Hilton and Christina Aguilera?. Sure you’d have to pay them millions to do this but come on. One night, Pay Per View extravaganza. It would be the most widely televised event in history.
Hell you could even get guys involved. I wouldn’t mind seeing professional athletes duking it out in the roller rink. How about the Red Sox and Yankees Roller Derby? It’d be pretty funny to watch David Ortiz drop kick A-Rod.
For the record if someone actually comes out with this I want full credit and 1% of the gross profits. Thank you.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff
- Sports Sunday – Plenty of High Class Talent at the Kentucky Derby
- A Collection of Funny Roller Coaster Ride Videos
- Abandoned Roller Coasters Scare Me
- The World’s Steepest Roller Coaster
- How About a Nice Gallery of Hot Chicks Wearing Rollerskates?