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Apr 04 2008

Tales from the Toilet – Embarrassed By a Kid

Published by at 1:02 pm under Tales from the Toilet

Funny Bathroom

These are true stories by real people about some of the funniest, most embarrassing and craziest crap that happens to them in the bathroom.

The first story comes from me and my experience in a bathroom at Madison Square Garden.

I’m at a Knicks game. Clearly the Knicks are losing by a considerable amount and the time came for me to go to the bathroom. I can’t stand Sports Complex bathrooms. They always smell gross and 15 guys have to line up next to each other to piss.

I always look straight at the wall and do the best I can. On this particular day a young man, African American, couldn’t be more than 11 years old stands next to me. Now normally when a person pees they are standing pretty close to the urinal. This kid was at least 2 feet back.

So in my own defense, his penis was 100% exposed and I unfortunately got a look at it. What I saw disappointed me thoroughly. His “little guy” was far larger than my “tiny guy.” As if this game couldn’t be bad enough. I got the Knicks getting derailed and then an 11 year old who is putting me to shame in the penis department.

I mentioned African American but if definitely would have been funnier if it was some dorky little white kid. Needless to say I felt a little inadequate that evening.

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